Anyway, Trey pats himself on the back, saying “I happen to play tennis, so this should be good.” Eh, not all that good. Lexi is screaming her annoying head off “Nice Babe!” “Awesome, Babe!” Meanwhile, there are some tennis pro chicks sitting around laughing because he totally sucked. Sure, he got 20 of them in-bounds eventually, but he didn’t look any better than I would’ve looked out there. And that’s not saying much. I wish someone would step in and tell Lexi that if she effing says “Babe” one more time she will be eliminated. And that would take care of that. That’s how sh*t works in my house, anyway. For instance, yesterday I couldn’t get my 3 year old to pose for a Christmas picture with his brother and 8-month-old sister. Know how hard it is to get a freaking baby to smile or even look at the camera? I wasn’t about to put up with sh*t from the older one on top of that. I told him that if Santa doesn’t see him in the picture he wouldn’t know that there are three kids to bring presents to in the house. Unfortunately, only his sister and brother will end up with presents then. Kid was flying over to get his picture taken. Bingo. That sh*t works. Whoever said lying is wrong didn’t have young kids.
Wow, Nadiya really sucks at driving stick. Isn’t that the kind of stuff you try to master before coming on a show like this? Her trying to drive stick reminded me of Anthony Michael Hall trying to back the Rolls Royce out of Jake Ryan’s garage in “Sixteen Candles.” You know, all squealing brakes and stalling out. And Natalie was all berating Nadiya and stuff, but I didn’t see her trying to take over or anything. I’m guessing her driving skills weren’t all that much better. Or, there’s some secret Race rule that we don’t know about that whoever first tries to drive has to keep driving. Who knows, though.
Back to Josh and Brent, who have since made it to the tennis courts. Josh was certainly not the coolest looking tennis player I’ve ever seen. Brent was hilarious when he said “God, he sounds like Monica Selles out there.” He totally did. This is basically lobbing balls over the net into the right box. We’re not talking about Josh trying to return a serve from Nadal himself or anything. Yet here’s Josh, making that annoying yelp noise each time he returned a ball. And all that noise and he only returns four balls from the entire first basket. Brent has as much faith in Josh as I do apparently, because he says he doesn’t think that Josh will ever get this. I didn’t think so either.
After that crappy first round, Josh is crying in the corner, whining about his ankle again. He goes on and on about how he needs to keep chasing those balls and not give up on them. Is there anything funnier than gay guys and balls references? Apparently, CBS also realizes that the answer is NO. Brent tells Natalie that Josh was having trouble because of his ankle. Anyway, no offense, but I didn’t see a need to be flying around the court like a Pro or anything. Just STAND THERE and aim the ball into one box. There didn’t seem to be anything involving his ankle all that much. Josh’s trouble is that he sucks at athletics. He could’ve had fifteen functioning ankles. Nothing’s going to improve a lack of athletic ability. Not that Brent has any room to talk, given his diving skills. I may never ever be able to get that vision of that horrible dive out of my brain.
So, Josh the Puss lies in the corner whining about his stupid ankle for a while. He finally decides to get back up and give it a try again. You know, there IS a million dollars on the line. But sure, we’re really worried about his minor injury. Brent tries to cheer him on, “You’re doing much better! “ Yeah, right. Good thing that that bar wasn’t exactly high. He could’ve returned five balls out of the basket and improved. Josh finally gets twenty balls (which would’ve happened a lot faster had he not taken time to pout in the corner) and Brent hugs him and says “Just like Rafael!” Well, not quite. In fact, I don’t think Nadal EVER looked like that, even the first day he picked up a racquet. The tennis pros seemed to agree because they were laughing to themselves in the corner, much like those synchronized swimming pros in Russia.
Doesn’t it seem like they have had a lot of nonelimination legs this race? Four couples in the finals is too many. The twinnies really blew this leg and should have gone home. Nadiya took one class in driving a manual and thought that it seemed easy enough? Maybe if you had a car to practice on for awhile, but obviously one lesson was not enough. Although I have NO IDEA how Josh & Brent have made it this far – they must have about a 0.5% chance of actually winning this show – and please do not bring them back as fan favorites!
And I think it’s a testament to how easy the challenges have been when Lexi breaks down in tears because she cut her finger. It probably did hurt, I’ll give her that. But really! If they had some tougher things to do throughout this Race, she might have thought a cut finger wasn’t too bad. Remember when School of Rock Mike guy and his really old Dad were stuck in the freezing cold mud, in the dark, and I think even in their underwear, digging around for one little figurine? She would have been crying a long time ago if they had more challenges like that one.
I’m still a little peeved about the twins stealing money from the rockers and sharing it with the Texans. So I guess I’m hoping the Chippendales guys take the money.