Hello everyone, hope you all had a great week and a nice Easter if that is your thing. It was 45 degrees and rainy here so our Easter egg hunt got moved inside. Nothing like finding hidden eggs that the kids didn’t find two years from now in a pair of old shoes or something. And, after some serious consideration, I’ll still eat that stale mini-Twix bar out of the egg too. Yesterday was not a good eating day for me because I think I ingested about 10,000 calories, none of which were from candy that was actually given to me. You’re welcome, kids.
Anyway, Bates and Anthony were off first. These two seem to think they are much funnier than they actually are. One of them (who cares which, really) says while he was sleeping he wasn’t counting sheep, he was counting lions. Then, they both laugh like Beavis and Butthead or something. Get it, because they are in Africa…they are COUNTING LIONS? Hilarious stuff, guys. Sounds like a joke that my 4 year old would even think was stupid.
The Country girls left fifth and I was surprised Bates and Anthony didn’t wait around to drive with them. Caroline tells us that she thanked God last night for letting them get this far in the Race. Yeah, because with war and famine and disease running rampant, God is really concerned with how well two big-boobed blondies are doing on a stupid reality TV race. Whatever, girls. Then Jen tells Caroline that this is the time to sit back, enjoy and just take in the sights. Uh, no, actually it’s not. In a race for a million dollars, I’m thinking the last thing you should be doing is acting like a tourist right now. Unfortunately though, they should’ve showed down a little because they get pulled over by a cop on foot with a radar gun. The girls try leaning over with their pouty lips and boobs hanging out to try and get out of the ticket but this guy doesn’t like blondes or boobs or something and he isn’t falling for it. May have been a good time to try to bring up you’re John Wayne’s granddaughter, huh? Hey, you never know. Anyway, the country girls have to go to the police headquarters and exchange dollars for the right currency in order to pay the ticket, which wastes a ton of time.
Bates and Anthony get the first clue, which is a Fast forward. It is basically waterskiing in a river with crocs everywhere. Bates says he sucks at skiing (and he was right) but they decide to do it anyway. I was kind of disappointed because I thought this would be a good time for someone to get eaten by a croc. Damn, that would be awesome and just what the show needs. I mean, Dave completed a couple of legs of the Race with a torn ACL, so I wouldn’t mind seeing Anthony try to race with a missing foot or something. Come on, CBS, step it up a little. They signed releases before the show, so let’s do this! Unfortunately, the only entertainment we get is Anthony continuing his crappy comedy routine by joking that the crocodiles were looking to eat a couple of Italian sausages. Thanks for that imagery, Anthony. And, thanks guys for getting close to naked during this task for some unknown reason. Anyway, the guys complete the Fast Forward and head right to the pit stop, probably still in their underwear.
We’re back with Max and Katie, who have managed to get pulled over by the foot cop too. Katie’s b*tching because she told Max to slow down once she saw the cop and it was too late anyway. Yeah, that would’ve worked.