AMAZING RACE – 4/21/13

April 22nd, 2013 | 1 Comment | Posted in Amazing Race 22

Well, we’re back and it’s the final five teams. Bates and Anthony came in first again, so they leave first again. But not before we get a little Travelocity commercial spot to remind us again that those two won an expensive trip on the last leg. Guess Travelocity kicked a little more money in and now want to literally jam that garden gnome down our collective throats. Whatever.

Teams are off to Germany. Apparently, German trains are much like New York subways. You leave a bag for two seconds, it will disappear. Thieves will sniff that lonely bag out like sharks with blood in the water. Bates’s bag was gone with the wind, though luckily, he had his passport right with him. Of course, Jen has to saunter over with her top two buttons unbuttoned to put her two cents in. She asks if he needs anything and you just knew some kind of sexual innuendo was coming. And, she didn’t disappoint. She asked him if he needed to borrow one of her thongs. Some women are so unbelievably transparent. Caroline told her she should just date him already, and I agree. Just bang him and get it over with so we can move on with the actual show. Anyway, Bates turns into Rain Man about the missing bag, mumbling at least four times about how much lighter he will be, how much faster he will be without all that extra weight. Then when they get to their Ford Fusions, the two teams are following each other and waving and beeping like fifth graders on a field trip. I am so sick of this endless flirting, I can’t wait until Bates and Anthony run these girls over like road kill to the pit stop at some point.

We’re next at the point where Ford gets their little commercial in by having the teams answer what I thought were a couple of ridiculously easy questions on their navigational system. Of course, I wasn’t born in the 90s like most of these kids, so they were easy for me. I’ve actually heard Reagan’s voice unlike some of these racers. Anyway, this was not a great ad for the American public school system because Max (a huge Reagan fan) thought Kennedy was the one that asked for the wall to be torn down and the country girls thought this line was referencing the effing Great Wall of China. You’re IN Berlin, you enormous plastic dummy! I couldn’t believe these morons are sitting there in Germany and had to ponder where the speech was given. Hmm, was it given on the North Pole?? Even the biggest idiot might put two and two together that CBS may be trying to tie the speech into the Race, and hey, we’re in Germany! So, duh.

Teams hit some hotel for the next clue, which they could only get by “base flying.” Looked pretty crazy to me. Every team member had to plunge 37 stories to the ground suspended by cables in a belly flop-like position. Yikes. Joey did scream so loud and so high-pitched that he sounded like an enormous pigeon crashing to his death. But surprisingly, we didn’t have one team member that even hesitated. You know if they had this task earlier on, someone would’ve sh*t their pants and taken a penalty on this one.

The teams hit the Detour. They choose between “Train Trials” and “Font Follies.” The train task was traveling to a train museum and laying a large track. The font task was basically carrying an enormous flashing alphabet letter from Point A to Point B without messing it up. The country girls and hockey guys team up together in the hugest surprise of the week. While these dummies are busy trying to ask for directions, Anthony just leans his letter somewhere and it goes flying. This results in an enormous crack in the letter. Dumb. What I didn’t understand is why he and Bates still just kept standing around waiting for directions knowing they needed to get another letter or needed to switch detours. Again, I think their p*nises are getting in the way of their race. Then the girls sit there asking if Bates and Anthony mind if they just go on and finish the race. Honestly, I wondered if the hockey guys had said they did mind if the chicks would’ve stayed with them. I really think they would’ve. Anyway, Bates and Anthony end up going to the train task, which took them NINE TIMES to complete. (Anyone else automatically think of Ferris Bueller anytime they hear the phrase NINE TIMES? )

One thought on “AMAZING RACE – 4/21/13

  1. I really like Joey and Meghan. The Roller Derby mom’s seem okay, but get barely any airtime. (I don’t know which is Mona and with is Beth.) I can not stand Max and Katie. I hope they get taken out soon. The hockey boys have probably had a few concussions because they act a little slow with the uptake, and the country singer girls are just idiots.

    I thought the labyrinth was pointless and the train thing was dull. Seriously, why would anyone put a tree next to the train track? This is a TV show, so why give them such boring tasks?

    I had to laugh at the ‘museum’ of giant light up letters located inside a mall. I think they made it up for the show.

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