THE AMAZING RACE – 10/9/11

So Tommy and Andy are shown arriving at the next location and apparently want to get their taxi driver to stay put. So they put on a crap foreign accent and say in the equivalent of a 2 year old’s English “YOU – STAY – HERE?” And for extra confirmation Tommy decides it’s a good idea to high-five the driver. Okay. Now I’m hoping the driver freaking speeds off laughing and leaves both of their asses there.

So Tommy and Andy enter the temple and explain they have to go in some special entrance and wear a SH-rong. Um, that would be a SA-rong, I think boys. Anyway, they put it on and start walking toward the temple. They decide to ask a passerby if it’s okay to run or if they should walk. I don’t even think anyone answered because, of course they don’t speak English, or they just thought it was such a dumb question (like, should I breathe right now?). Yeah, it’s a race for a million dollars. Definitely walk as slow as possible. In fact, slow down if you see another team catching up to you. Dolts.

The smarts continue as we get more rock-paper-scissors to see who does the road block. Do they not realize even the dumber (if there are any) teams are strategizing about who will do certain road blocks and how many they’ve each done so far, etc.? Because if one team member is better at one thing and awful at another (like deathly afraid of heights), you don’t want that team member stuck doing it at the end because they haven’t done enough of their share of roadblocks yet. But these two have their own grade school system going, so whatever. Hope it bites them in the ass later.

So Laurence suddenly appears and decides to work with Tommy on the roadblock counting different Buddhas on the temple walls. He says to Tommy “I’ll count and you remember the number of them I tell you.” Tommy already looked confused and like he had forgotten what the plan was right after Laurence said it, so I think Laurence may have made a big mistake here. In fact we pretty much get confirmation of that right away when Tommy starts counting the Buddhas. Uh, didn’t he JUST say I’LL count, YOU remember? Dumb. At least Laurence was smart enough not to delegate the counting to him. Once he got beyond ten, I pretty much figure he’d be in “eleventeen” land. Shoes and socks would have to come off; it just wouldn’t work out.

Well Amani and Marcus look to be in trouble, they got rejected for too small of a bag load of grass and get sent back. Then, inexplicably to me, they give up on grass and switch to the rice detour. “Dang we should’ve planted the rice…God DOG it.” Huh? And then Amani says “Shucks.” Wow, these two sure don’t sound like blacks from Philly. Sounded like an episode of Happy Days or something. Gotta give them credit, though, they sure kept it under control. My husband and I would’ve probably punched the guy, dumped the grass over his head and then kicked a sheep–all amidst many expletives, of course.

So back to Amani and Marcus switching detours: They mention that they think they are in last place and instead of just going back, getting more grass and finishing the same task that they kind of already know how to do, they decide to do the other road block. Why? Maybe hoping to see another team stuck in the mud over there? I just didn’t get it. Well they did say they think it would be quicker, so okay, maybe. But then was it me or were they in NO rush at all? Just lounging around, planting as slow as possible. At that point shouldn’t they have been just shoving them into the ground as fast as they could? And just lie, put thirty in there and tell them you’re done. I’m pretty sure they aren’t counting, guys. They are just glad they aren’t stuck planting them for once.

We finally see Jeremy and Sandy. Anyone else forget they are even on the show? Are they just so boring they warrant no screen time? Not sure what it is, but this happens every episode: Who are these two again? And I have to look up the names I don’t recognize from last week’s show. Anyway, their taxi breaks down so they have to run the rest of way to the temple. Nice. Now I see why they get no screen time. Could have had a little more drama with that taxi dying on them. They just decide to hoof it on foot. Definitely want to give these two credit for coolness under pressure. Though they are naturally the kind of people I hate, being all type A myself.

And….we’re back to the “I’m not smarter than a fifth grader” show. One of the showgirls says “This temple looks like it’s been here for a really long time.” Yeah. Definitely not built last week, thanks for noticing. Anyway, Kaylani must’ve thought that counting the Buddhas was like the Clock Game on The Price is Right or something because she just spouts off guessing one wrong number after another without recounting. Too bad this wasn’t America. For anything even remotely historical there’s one of those metal signs erected to give you all the details you really don’t care about, right? There will be a crappy gas station with one of those metal plaques erected saying that before said crappy gas station was built, George Washington once stopped here to sleep or poop or whatever. No doubt there’d be a “There are 17 praying Buddhas on this temple making this hand gesture” and blah blah blah metal plaque had this been here. But, no such luck in Indonesia, they had to count and no one seemed to be guessing right. So maybe Marcus and Amani still have a shot.