Anyway, back at the fruit task, Jessica basically says, “Hey John, We suck at this. Should we use our Express Pass since we may be in last place?” He says no. Damn if they are gonna burn that Express Pass now and not be able to talk about it every other minute. So they decide to switch detours instead. Risky move, because Winona and Chuck and Joey and Meghan finished the fruit task almost immediately after they left. Bates and Anthony showed up not long after as well and appeared to be finished while Jessica and John seemed to just be getting started with the sand task.
The teams hit the Road Block. This one was a surf shop with a ton of surfboards. The teams were supposed to find a picture of a priest that blessed them in Bora Bora, though they didn’t realize this. The clue said something about finding the board that had something all the teams had seen.
Honestly, I’ve never thought of people surfing in some of these other countries. It’s just always seemed so California and Hawaii to me, though we have surfers here on the East Coast too. On some level, I obviously realized it’s also big in places like Australia too. Anyway, I just found it so weird to see some old guy in a Quicksilver wetsuit saying “Surf…shop…right….there” and sounding a lot like Mr. Miyagi. Sorry. Typical dumb American who hasn’t been out of the country much.
Anyway, what the hell is up with Max and his bright neon yellow sneakers? WHO wears something like that? I can just picture those bright *ss things glowing in the dark and my kids waking up screaming and making me putting them out in the hall. Seriously, if you’re not 10 years old or a construction worker, there’s pretty much no acceptable reason to be wearing bright neon yellow, right?
Joey and Meghan hit the surf shop and Joey yells “Looks like I’m going surfing!” So many things I could insert here, but I will resist. Pam found her board quickly but then runs around like a moron asking if anyone’s seen Phil and the pit stop mat. Hello, dumb*ss, don’t let the other teams see your board. Kind of the point, right? Anyway, Connor asks her which board he should be looking for and she says “Will you let me check in first?” and he’s like “No!” She continues on but then has her head up her *ss while he peeks at her board. Not her finest move. That one was immediately followed by another blunder. She’s standing right in front of the enormous yellow and red Amazing Race arrow pointing up a flight of stairs and she says: “This way?” Duh.
Chuck keeps taking Phil the wrong surfboard. Winona says she keeps seeing his head wandering around. Yeah, he’s pretty easy to spot in Indonesia. Next thing you know he’s running through the actual surf for absolutely no reason.
Unfortunately for John and Jessica, he’s a moron. The sun literally sets while he’s looking for the right board. He must bring Phil every board in the store before he finally gets the right one. He goes down in flames with that damn Express Pass still right in his pocket. Can’t use it if you’re already eliminated. Way to go, D-bag.
Pit stop order:
1. Dave and Connor
2. Pam and Winnie
3. Max and Katie
4. Caroline and Jennifer
5. Joey and Meghan
6. Mona and Beth
7. Bates and Anthony
8. Chuck and Winona
9. John and Jessica (Eliminated). John: “The simple truth is that I don’t need a million dollars. NO regrets.” Phil: “Whatever, dumb*ss.”
See you next week!
Written by:
Kim Wilson
Email: kwilson1101@gmail.com
Twitter: kwilson111
Great recap, as always! I’m surprised you didn’t comment on Joey’s disturbing monkey voiceover like he was Jeff Dunham or something. Also, did you catch how the roller derby moms fed the monkeys their coconut? What game did they think they were playing: Amazing Race…or Bowling for Primates? I’m willing to bet both these chicks spend a fair amount of time knockin’ ’em down at their local bowling alley.
I LOVED that John went out holding the Express Pass! I am pretty sure Jessica is not dating that idiot anymore!
Another awesome recap.