Down to six teams…and they are headed for Russia. This is the point where I get confused….is it still Russia or are there 75 cute little Russian states instead? I guess Moscow is still in one of the big states called Russia? What the hell is going on there exactly? I just pulled up one of the maps to see how stupid I look right now and it looks like there’s still one big Russia. Or these maps I’m looking at are from 1980 because it’s no longer called Russia, so I’m Googling the wrong country. I’m totally confused. As soon as they started breaking off in little states, I bailed on the whole place. Between that and the Middle East, I have no clue what’s going on over there. Anyway, who cares. Amazing Race referred to it as Russia, so that’s what I’m going with.
Over to Lexi. I am not sure what it is about this girl. Maybe it’s just the “I’m just SO upbeat about EVERYTHING” type of personality that just pisses me off. It’s like that person who is whistling and skipping in the morning at work while you’re ready to open fire on everyone in sight. I blame them for my bad mood. They make me angrier. Anyway, Lexi is rattling on for about ten minutes about her and Trey dating and [giggle giggle] “I’m not sure when he’ll put a ring on my finger” [giggle giggle] “But that’s up to him!” This is the kind of sh*t that makes me realize just how old and beyond that world I truly am. I just can’t take those type of dumb conversations anymore. I get it; it’s the kind of stuff that’s important to her. For me, it’s just freaking annoying. Let me know when Trey dumps you, then I’d like to hear about it, Lexi. I mean, she’s the kind of chick that would be awesome to see dumped. She’d be totally destroyed. Like black mascara running down the face, false eyelashes stuck to her cheeks, totally WRECKED kind of girl. The one I’m almost jealous of because she just has no clue that bad things like getting dumped can happen in this world. Totally unlike me—I was the type that always had my eyes narrowed just waiting and watching for those signs I’d be getting dumped at some point.
Let me get back to the Race. Lexi and Trey read their clue and must wipe their asses with it and then immediately flush it right down the toilet because they just wander aimlessly at the airport trying to remember which “funny name” airline it mentioned. Did I miss them losing their clue or something? I’m wondering why someone isn’t just reaching into their backpacks or whatever and reading what the name of the frigging airline actually is. I guess it’s a better idea to wander over and to try to hop a flight to Russia via “Air France.” The clerk there was like “I think you need another airline.” That was one big “duh” on two levels: “Air France” isn’t a really funny name, is it? Also, it’s unlikely that one of Air France’s planes is headed for Russia, but whatever, what do I know.
And, so much for my Abbie & Ryan free week so far. They are back. I’m noticing that it’s not just me, these two are rubbing the other racers the wrong way too. Lexi points out that there’s a difference between being competitive and being rude. Lexi calls them rude, and she’s right. I’m always rooting for disaster to strike these two, and you know that’s got to mean that they aren’t all that likeable.
Along those lines, Abbie and Ryan and Josh and Brent take different flights than the other teams. (By the way, WAY too much time wasted on the whole process of booking flights this week as a whole. That was obviously all just filler). Abbie and Ryan are delayed and just miss their connecting flight along with Josh and Brent. First smile on my face all week. I was just sorry it wasn’t JUST Abbie and Ryan missing the flight. They learn that they are going to arrive in Russia WAY after the other teams. They will be starting about six hours after the other teams, because those teams have to wait overnight to begin with the first clue in Russia. At this point, you know Abbie and Ryan are going to roll over Josh and Brent like road kill at the very first chance they get. It’s obviously going to be a footrace between those two teams for last. I wonder if Abbie and Ryan will cry to be finishing so far down the list. [Enter pouty bottom lip!]
The other teams are off and the detour is either “Alphabetized” at a Russian library or “Synchronized” at a pool. “Alphabetized” was basically trying to find four books using card catalogs with writing that was pretty hard to decipher. It’s not like it’s Japanese or Middle Eastern with all symbols or anything, but not all that easy nonetheless. So this task is basically like a 1985 third grade library project with Russian books. The fact that the cards are all yellowed and were typed out with those manual typewriters that make the “ding!” noise at the end of the line does not help with the speed of this task either.
“Synchronized” was learning a synchronized swimming routine. I must say, I just don’t get this stuff. Hey, I’ll admit that it’s probably ridiculously hard to do and requires much athletic skill and elegance. Just sometimes I wonder what the point is. Why not just figure skate? What’s next? Synchronized boxing ring routines? Ridiculous, but you get my point. Just because there are pools, doesn’t mean you need to create some “dancing” sport in them. I borderline don’t even get the point of water polo, honestly. Just freaking play soccer or hockey. These geeks that insist in being in the water for everything get on my nerves. I’m sure I’m probably pissing someone off pretty hard right now, but whoever would be into that kind of thing probably won’t like my humor anyway.