We’re back for Week 2. Not sure about the rest of you, but I’m not really at the point of caring about anyone on this show yet. Hopefully, a team will start catching my attention soon. I’m mostly just annoyed by teams at this point: Jessica and John (well, just John really) and Max and Katie are probably my front runners.
The show starts with the biggest *ss kiss session ever. Jessica and John sit around like a king and queen while the other teams feed them grapes and fan their faces. Dave and Connor take about two seconds to come over and kiss butt, while of course, reminding them to give them that second Express Pass again. I mean, who knows when someone’s suffered sudden head trauma and may have forgotten something in the last minute or so. Please Dave, feel free to remind everyone 15 or 16 times per show. John finally tells Dave to shut his pie hole already because they want to keep the alliance quiet. That was pretty ridiculous because John says it after they are having their own private meeting for 45 minutes or so. I think even the contestants with mullets have figured this one out. Anyway, it seems all for nothing because John has basically sounded like he has no intention of keeping his promise since he received the Express Pass.
Once the Dave and John party breaks up, even the mullets are smart enough to go over and kiss some *ss. Disgusted, Roller Derby Beth declares, “We don’t like to suck up” right before she proceeds to head over there and tell John and Jessica that they look like Abercrombie and Fitch models. Right. Not sure what counts as *ss kissing in Colorado, Beth, but over here on the East Coast, that statement is the mother of all *sskissing. I mean, come on, the guy isn’t even good looking and still has a mouth full of baby teeth. What the hell are you talking about, Beth?
Back to Dave, and what a shocker, he’s delivering yet another cancer speech. No offense, Dave, but ENOUGH about cancer already. I mean, if I have to see this guy in tears one more time talking about his stint with chemo, I’ll cry. I’d rather listen to airheads try to recite the alphabet backwards than hear this same depressing stuff one more time. We get it, you and your son have been through a lot. If you are looking for CBS to just declare you the winner because you’ve had it tough, it’s not going to happen. Ask that chick that was missing various body parts last season. She had metal legs and was missing a head or something but still was eliminated just like everyone else.
Speaking of more annoying repetition, Bates and Anthony need to shut the F up about being “professional hockey players” already. I’ve looked you up, you tools, and neither of you are pro hockey players anymore. The Anthony one is talking about playing for the Huntsville Havoc and New Jersey Outlaws. Sound like high school teams to me, so get over yourself already, pal. There aren’t many chicks lining up for a guy who is missing his two front teeth. I was assuming they were missing from actual hockey play, but I’m starting to think someone punched them down his throat.
Anyway, I guess I should actually get to the show. The teams have some dumb task where they take a water taxi, search for a clue and get some kind of blessing from a priest at a chapel even though most of these teams aren’t actual couples. Whatever. More time wasting stuff. After that, the teams hit the Detour. Again, I am liking these tasks this season. Thank God, we don’t seem to be stuck in Third World farmer’s markets week after week yet. The South Pacific is so much easier to watch.
I thought for sure that you would make some comment about how this episode was full of racial stereotypes. I mean, come on, the brothers are afraid of the water, which ends up getting them eliminated. And the Asian women are the ones who can’t drive the JetSki and/or read a map, which almost gets them eliminated. It’s really sad when you take these very common stereotypes and exploit them on TV and then expect nobody to ever talk about them because they aren’t PC. Come on CBS!
Anyway, I’m liking the better challenges too, and I agree that there isn’t a very likeable/memorable/root-worthy team yet. I’m just excited that Father/Son may be out next episode, becuase, like you, I’m sick of hearing about the Cancer and I’m pretty certian that that’s all they know how to talk about.
I just read your first two recaps and had a good chuckle. I like the challenges so far this season. I thought the sand castle one was great because it showed right away who can handle stress and heat.
I dislike like Katie and Max, but I don’t want them to leave too soon. They will provide the necessary drama!
How could the twins (thank God they don’t call each other “Twinnie!”) think they could manage this race when they both have an irrational fear of water? What they were saying rivaled the blondes! “There is water everywhere!” was said repeatedly.
I loved that the Asian girls got lost on a jet ski!! I was hoping they’d be last due to that fact. Also, when the one doing the stilts challenge said she needed a band aid because she sucked at a fairly simple task. She had a tiny blister, with sand in it, and she whined way too much about it. Ugg. I do not like them.