Anyway, the Detour was either “Pick a Pearl” or “Take a Trunk.” “Pick a Pearl” was diving down and grabbing some oyster shells and prying them open to find two red pearls. Looked harder than how I described it, but you get the idea. “Take a Trunk” was diving to the ocean floor in cartoon like scuba gear (picture yourself with a glass box around your head) to set up a dinner for two underwater or something.
Dave was so busy going on about cancer, he and Connor forgot their snorkeling gear. They are high fiving each other for being in first place when their boat gets to the dive site, only to find out they left their gear back on the beach. Wonk, wonk, wonk. It was actually like Chutes and Ladders taking on a real life quality, watching these two slide down a major chute right back to start. I had to give Dave and Connor credit though, once they got back, they kicked some butt finishing the task. Zero points for Dave’s ocean dive though. Rivals some of those horrific belly flops from last season. I give him a two, but only because he actually made his way off the boat with that dive.
I thought you had to get certified to scuba dive or something but apparently not. They just throw that glass box on the roller derby moms’ heads and throw them overboard. Guess that’s why they have them sign waivers before the show.
What exactly was up with those twin doctors? They haven’t even gotten off the boat before they are talking about taking a six hour penalty. What the hell? Have these people watched the show before? Did they not expect water tasks on this race? These two deliver babies for a living but are afraid of the ocean. Hey, I get it. I’m not a huge fan of the ocean either. But that’s why my *ss is sitting here in my living room watching on TV, instead of applying for the show. Anyway, they waste like 2 hours fighting over quitting or not instead of just determining who is the biggest p*ssy and keeping that douche on the boat. Winona and Meghan stayed on the boat for the most part, why weren’t these twins looking around to see what the other teams were doing?
Next, we have one of the smartest comments of the night: Joey: “We’re in first!” Meghan: “That means we’re ahead of everyone!” Wow. There’s no big brain floating around in that head or anything. Sad that she’s still smarter than the country chicks, as we’ll soon find out. I was sad we couldn’t have at least one shark attack this episode. I’d be rooting for the shark over most of these people.
Because of their penalty from last week, the country chicks (Caroline and Jennifer) and Max and Katie end up starting an hour and a half behind everyone else. Luckily for them, the twin doctors were still trying to psych themselves up to put one toe in the ocean at that point. Wow, I think these dorks could find a way to drown in a bathtub.
We’re back to Max, who is going on and on talking about how crafty the blondes are. The blondes? Uh, not really. They are panning between the blondes having a conversation about sparkles (sparkles!) while Max is sitting there planning to launch a D-Day attack against them or something. Relax, guys. Caroline and Jennifer aren’t as much of a threat as you think. Max keeps saying the blondes would not think twice to throw Max and Katie to the wolves and how they can’t trust them. Then, in same breath, he says “But, we’d do the same.” So, what the hell was the point of that ten minute soliloquy, Max? The twin doctors are just about drowning in the water, so you’re safe even if those blondes get ahead of you, dummy. I mean, and these girls are NOT a threat. Seriously, one of the girls that Max speaks about like she is General Patton says THIS about the scuba helmet: “I’ve never even seen that before how you can put something on your head and go underwater and then you just breathe in this thing. The helmet is pressurized like an airplane and you can’t even talk to each other while you are under there.” Seriously? This is the big threat that Max is so worried about? Even Jessica Simpson would be shaking her head at this moron. This girl has apparently been confronted with the concept of scuba gear for the very first time and Max is nervous about her as a threat.
I thought for sure that you would make some comment about how this episode was full of racial stereotypes. I mean, come on, the brothers are afraid of the water, which ends up getting them eliminated. And the Asian women are the ones who can’t drive the JetSki and/or read a map, which almost gets them eliminated. It’s really sad when you take these very common stereotypes and exploit them on TV and then expect nobody to ever talk about them because they aren’t PC. Come on CBS!
Anyway, I’m liking the better challenges too, and I agree that there isn’t a very likeable/memorable/root-worthy team yet. I’m just excited that Father/Son may be out next episode, becuase, like you, I’m sick of hearing about the Cancer and I’m pretty certian that that’s all they know how to talk about.
I just read your first two recaps and had a good chuckle. I like the challenges so far this season. I thought the sand castle one was great because it showed right away who can handle stress and heat.
I dislike like Katie and Max, but I don’t want them to leave too soon. They will provide the necessary drama!
How could the twins (thank God they don’t call each other “Twinnie!”) think they could manage this race when they both have an irrational fear of water? What they were saying rivaled the blondes! “There is water everywhere!” was said repeatedly.
I loved that the Asian girls got lost on a jet ski!! I was hoping they’d be last due to that fact. Also, when the one doing the stilts challenge said she needed a band aid because she sucked at a fairly simple task. She had a tiny blister, with sand in it, and she whined way too much about it. Ugg. I do not like them.