AMAZING RACE – 11/25/12

When they realize that Natalie and Nadiya already completed the Fast Forward, Jaymes and James hit the Detour. There’s a choice between “Back in Time” or “Organ to Grind.” With “Back in Time” the teams have to head to Rembrandt’s mistresses’ house and recreate a Rembrandt painting with live actors. This got me wondering: Did this Rembrandt guy have a wife? Did he give the mistress a better house than his wife or something because that’s where they’re headed? I looked it up and it looks like Rembrandt was some old guy in the 1600s. He used his wife and this mistress, Hendrickje, as models for his paintings. The guy was basically a genius. Get these chicks naked, paint them, and then move in for the kill. So, Rembrandt started an affair with Hendrickje, who was a maid living in his house and twenty years younger. Nice. Some things never change, huh? When she got pregnant by him, she had to formally admit that she “committed the acts of a whore with Rembrandt the painter.” Awesome. Anyway, Rembrandt apparently did not want to marry Hendrickje, because he would have forfeited the inheritance of his first wife by doing so. Not sure what they mean by “first wife,” like maybe there some polygamy thing going on here too? Who knows. THAT would be interesting. But, even with the first wife’s inheritance he would have been in financial trouble, so without it, he would’ve been bankrupt. Too bad those paintings weren’t worth then what they are worth now. Poor Hendrickje. Not guessing she was all that happy. The moral of the story is: While we seem like a crappy society today that lacks morality, even people back in the 1600s could’ve filled up an episode of “Maury.” I’m guessing Hendrickje would even need some of those “beeps” the show uses to cover up the F word. She seriously got screwed over.

Okay, perhaps I should get back to the actual freaking show? The second half of the detour was “Organ to Grind.” This was having one teammate grind a giant street organ, while the other collects 30 Euros in tips. Blah blah blah.

Jaymes and James pick the organ grinding task. They aren’t making any money, so surprise, surprise, they get into their Chippendales outfits. Not sure if “outfits” is the right term: they basically take their shirts off and put a bowtie collar on. I guess they carry those babies around in case of an emergency, such as this. I wonder if their car goes off a bridge and they start to sink if they pull out those dumb bowties to save themselves? You know, you’re more likely to get rescued if you’re showing off your six-pack. Anyway, they start getting a ton of guys stepping up to give them tips all of a sudden. I’m guessing Josh and Brent are going to like Amsterdam.

Speaking of the boys, they and Abbie and Ryan land in Amsterdam at the same time. Wow, that mechanical delay really screwed Abbie and Ryan over. Again, they decide to run the race together with Josh and Brent because they think Josh and Brent are resigned that they are done with the Race or something. Sure. Like someone’s just going to give up a million when they have a 20% chance at winning it. I’m thinking the fact that the four hour penalty was now a complete wash even gave them an extra boost to try to win this thing.

Jaymes and James are first to the Double U-turn, which is not what they really wanted. I guess Natalie and Nadiya heading right to the pit stop kind of screwed them over. Jaymes is totally conflicted about whether to stick with the pact, but ultimately decides to U-turn Abbie and Ryan as promised. Jaymes explains that he feels bad but his family has to come first. I think he made the right decision. Abbie and Ryan are a strong team and if they can get them out now, they should. I must say, if Abbie and Ryan are out, I don’t really care who wins. I pretty much like all of the teams that would be left.

Anyway, with Abbie and Ryan U-turned, they better hope that there’s a “Bang a Woman” task coming up really soon. Josh and Brent are going to stick this one out otherwise. I almost could not wait to see Abbie and Ryan’s face when they hit the U-turn. It was almost torture listening to Abbie going on and on about how their spirits are lifted because the gay team is going to run the Race with them, when you know she really meant: “We think they suck and we can easily beat them.” She probably had that tape running over and over in her head of Brent and his horrific diving skills. And here, the whole time, we know that she and Ryan have been U-turned. Ha!

Jaymes and James hit the Road block: Ditch vaulting back and forth, picking up a pair of freaking clogs on the way. Not sure why they had to show us those short, hairy old guys in Speedos on this one, but whatever. Again, this task didn’t exactly blow me away. I am hoping they at least step it up in these next couple of weeks. I kind of hate when the difference between the winner and second place equates to how crappy the taxi driver to the pit stop is. Can we have at least a couple of tasks that are actually challenging, please?

Lexi and Trey are at the U-turn and Abbie and Ryan’s fate is all but sealed: they U-turn the Chippendales to void out that second U-turn. I was left wondering if Abbie and Ryan would figure out that there was a plan to get them out? You know, realize that that second U-turn was used specifically to screw them over? Definitely made for interesting stuff. And I must give these teams credit for finally playing the game. No more Mr. Nice Guy stuff. Abbie and Ryan need to go and they actually made it happen. I hate those Kumbaya-type of seasons where everyone loves everyone else and no one will use the U-turn. Even if the tasks are somewhat lacking, at least we’ve finally got some serious players this time around.