At the starting line, Phil announces that the winners of the first leg will get an express pass to be able to avoid a task later on that the team does not want to complete. Then they are off! The first clue was located in only 11 out of what looked like 500 small hot air balloons. Amazing Race is apparently continuing the trend of not having an immediate elimination during the first task.
The Jersey Shore boys find their clue rather quickly, followed by Brendan and Rachel. Rachel just asked “Where is Santa Barbara?” I must admit I thought she was an idiot until I also learned that they meant a city in Argentina. But I still think that Rachel was unaware of the one in California. Anyway, we quickly learn that only the first six teams will get on the first flight out of the U.S.
Looks like either the other Rachel is a Big Brother fan or it only took Big Brother Rachel about ten minutes to get on her nerves. She’s already annoyed and calling her “Sparkles” because of the ridiculous green Solid Gold dancer-looking shiny sequined tank top she decided to wear to race. I’m probably going to call the other Rachel “Big Forehead Rachel,” because you know, we have to keep these two straight and I’m immature.
The Kentucky guys are next to last to find the first clue, and Misa and Maiya (“We’re so pretty!”) are shown still wandering. These Kentucky guys couldn’t have more of hick accents if they tried. I will tell you, I’m from the Mid-Atlantic and I’ve never heard black guys sound like this. It’s so weird to hear that voice, which sounds like some back woods white guy with no teeth and then realize it is the brother talking. Anyway, these guys must not be used to modes of transportation that you don’t have to reward with sugar cubes because one of the guys is shown throwing up out of his car window. I think it seriously just hit me that the one guy’s name is freaking “Bopper.” I can’t wait to hear the story behind this travesty. Is it some ridiculous nickname because he clubs squirrels over the head before he eats them for dinner? Or is the name Bopper seriously on this guy’s birth certificate? Of course, that presumes an official birth at a real hospital, which is probably a leap I shouldn’t be making so quickly. If you’ve ever seen the movie “Winter’s Bone,” this guy should’ve been cast in a heartbeat. I swear I saw that Bopper is missing teeth too. There’s a real surprise.
We’re now at LAX, and it looks like the twins Elliot and Andrew, Brendan and Rachel, Nary and Jamie, Art and JJ, Big Forehead Rachel and Dave and Vanessa and Ralph are all on that first flight. We find out that this puts them 2 ½ hours ahead of the rest of the group. That’s definitely a big plus for them.
Dave is shown looking like a kindergartener trying to drive stick. I guess if you can’t find ‘em, grind ‘em. Wow, that car just lost value. These two may break down at this rate. Guy is doing 3 miles an hour because he can’t find his way out of first gear.
Next we focus on the clowns, who are stressing. Honestly, the concept is kind of awesome. Frigging clowns, stressing out! Not quite as awesome as pissed off, but I’ll take stressed out. Cherie is crying and whining that they are too slow, not a strong enough team. The tears of a clown. Wah Wah Wah. Unfortunately for these clowns, there are millions of viewers around.
I was looking forward to reading your recap. But I have to admit. I don’t find it funny at all. I think it is just mean.
Yikes. maybe you should not wish people dead. I know you’re not being serious and just trying to be funny, but its a little bit distasteful. Hopefully the next recap isn’t as brutal 😉
Hmm… I used to check your blog cuz it was funny and real. C’mon… wishing death upon someone just for saying they will skydive for their kids? Calling a pretty young girl “crater face”. Not nice. Not funny. I’ll check again next week. Hopefully you’ll have your groove back!
Wow…..that was just a mean blog…..I thought you were a little harsh last season, but this one took it to another level. Wishing someone dead is not funny, and crosses the line. And, can’t you find ANYTHING likeable about the contestents? There are some good people there, but it seems as though you only look for the negative. I hope that your recaps become a bit more light-hearted and positive, as it is supposed to be entertainment!
I totally agree with the previous four posts. This recap was very mean spirited. Hopefully next week’s recap will be a lot more positive.
I was really looking forward to reading your blog too until I read it. Obviously, you won’t care what I write, but I think you need to be aware of how mean words can hurt people. Somewhere in the gene pool of my ancestors, there is a high forehead, which was generously passsed down to me. My entire life, I have tried hairstyle after hairstyle to try and cover it up. There are very few pictures of myself because I hate it. My adult children keep telling me that I worry too much about it, and it’s not a big deal…. they tell me that I’m pretty. Now just because I read your blog, I will feel bad about myself the rest of the day and realize that people like you really do look at me and laugh. I would hope and I would suggest that maybe you come up with another nickname for the woman on Amazing Race, to make fun of someone’s physical appearance, something they can’t change, is above being mean.
Wow! I didn’t even get past the first paragraph. Not funny and not well written. California ‘wine country’ is in Northern California. Napa and Sonoma. Have you never watched the Bachelor? The Amazing Race started in Santa Barbara, California and they traveled to Santa Barbara, Argentina.
I’m guessing Reality Steve isn’t going to be too thrilled with your recap……who pooped in your Cherrios, anyway?! Time to take a good look at yourself deary……
I really liked your take on Amazing Race. It was smart, witty, and definitely in the spirit of this site. Keep up the great work, I was greatly entertained!
Looks like Kim asked kmcmahon to write a nice comment because of all the negative ones…
Terrible recap. Very poor taste. Reality Steve should look long and hard at who is writing his blogs, lest he lose some traffic. A show like The Bachelor/Bachelorette is prime for the snarky comments because the fools who come on it are not really doing it for the reason the show claims (to find love). The Amazing Race is about winning a million bucks, period. And all the contestants wanna do that. Kim’s blog should not merely be trying to poke fun at the contestants, it should be witty, and it should be entertaining. If you can’t do that, don’t write.
And for the record, imagining you opening your door to injure cyclists is borderline sociopathic.
I thought the recap was funny. My advice to the people that didn’t like the recap…don’t take everything so serious. It was intended to have humour and it did. If there were no funny jokes and making fun of things, it would be pretty boring.
I actually just got around to watching the episode on wednesday, and was looking forward to the recap. However, I agree with the majority of the commenters, are you going to root for anyone or just hate on every team? I was looking forward to hating on “Brenchel” cuz they def deserve it, but damn.
I thought this recap was hilarious. It seems to me like people who don’t like it just shouldn’t read it. Just because this writer perhaps has a different style doesn’t make it wrong. I for one love the different take. And I’m sorry but if you sign up for any reality show, you are opening yourself up to commentary – of all types. Kim, I hope you don’t get discouraged by these comments!
Wow! What an incredibly mean spirited recap! Ya know what the funny thing is….you are just as stupid as you claim some of these contestants are. First of all, it is NOT Art jumping from the plane, it is JJ. So, if you had any clue and paid attention you would see that JJs name was said about 15 times by others on the plane! Secondly, did it ever dawn on you that the name Art is short for something? And the face you actually think its funny a child thunks he should die then you are simply a poor parent! And, if all you have to write about is adding a letter F to Art to make the word FART than your college education didn’t pay off well and you’re a complete moron! I give all teams credit, and you simply have big words and hide behind your computer!!!
People are taking the recap entirely too seriously. Calm down, she was joking. The replies are probably written by people that believe the bachelor is a love story. Yikes.
Did anyone notice that EVERY jumper fell to the ground when they landed. They were tandem jumping so the people they were with were obviously experienced jumpers. They should have instructed the contestants on how to land on your feet. Either the producers told them not to give instructions or the contestants can’t follow directions. Either way, it was hilarious to watch these people FAIL at skydiving.
This is the perfect show for Brenchel. There are no social skills required; it’s all about challenges. I don’t hope that they win, but I do think that they will put up a good fight.