We’re introduced to the first Road block – ““X” marks the spot.” They’ve really got some ingenious writers to name these tasks, huh? Seems like the name of a game from Sesame Street or something, I picture kids wielding pirate swords, but whatever. Anyway, one teammate has to skydive 10,000 feet out of a plane while the other stays on the ground driving around looking for where the other will land.
At this point, I am still trying to figure out what is going on with Rachel “the Forehead’s” face. It kind of looks like someone smashed her on the top of the head with a sledgehammer or something and her facial features got squished down. Maybe it was Bopper? Or she just has an enormous forehead. But something weird is going on there.
Camera pans onto the plane and we’re stuck listening to Art, who won’t stop whining about skydiving. “This has the risk of death.” “This goes against all laws of nature.” So let me get this straight….The chicks on the plane are yelling “Woo hoo!” but Art, the big bad border patrol guy is almost in tears. Maybe it’s the editing, but Art looks like a total tool in that plane. “We’re up in the clouds now, oh my goodness!” Yeah, that’s apparently the concept of a plane, Art. Did you think you’d be jumping from 10 feet or something? I’m starting to think he’s gonna bail. He must’ve really sounded like a little girl because my 6 year old son just told me he hopes that guy doesn’t have a parachute. Awesome. Even my sweet little boy thinks this guy is a total p*ssy and wants him dead.
Vanessa, obviously classy to the core, declares on the plane that “My uterus is in my throat.” Then she gets all philosophical and muses over the first person to ever decide to skydive. Personally, I was with my son and hoping that this one’s parachute would fail to open. Then we could actually see her uterus in her throat. That would be awesome. Way too few fatalities on The Amazing Race for my liking. Want the ratings, CBS? A hole in a parachute will do it.
AND we’re back to Danny and his awful driving skills. Shouldn’t all guys be able to drive stick, seriously? I get it that it’s not 1979 or anything, but come on, you’re a GUY. And you know you are going on a race for a million dollars, to various foreign countries, where driving will be imperative. You certainly can’t rely on the fact you’ll be driving around in Bentleys the whole time. Get a brain and prepare yourself before you come on the show!
Anyway, after the skydiving tasks, the teams have to make 120 empanadas: 60 meat and 60 cheese. Apparently there is a specific crimping pattern for each type. After this, teams get their clue to the pit stop. The first team there gets the express pass and the last team to check in will be eliminated.
Brendan’s makes his first of many dumb comments to come I’m sure: He states that he’s half Mexican so he hates the border patrol guys. Well Brendan, then shouldn’t the other half of you be happy that the border patrol guys are there? The internal conflict must be hell for him. Sorry, just couldn’t help myself.
I was looking forward to reading your recap. But I have to admit. I don’t find it funny at all. I think it is just mean.
Yikes. maybe you should not wish people dead. I know you’re not being serious and just trying to be funny, but its a little bit distasteful. Hopefully the next recap isn’t as brutal 😉
Hmm… I used to check your blog cuz it was funny and real. C’mon… wishing death upon someone just for saying they will skydive for their kids? Calling a pretty young girl “crater face”. Not nice. Not funny. I’ll check again next week. Hopefully you’ll have your groove back!
Wow…..that was just a mean blog…..I thought you were a little harsh last season, but this one took it to another level. Wishing someone dead is not funny, and crosses the line. And, can’t you find ANYTHING likeable about the contestents? There are some good people there, but it seems as though you only look for the negative. I hope that your recaps become a bit more light-hearted and positive, as it is supposed to be entertainment!
I totally agree with the previous four posts. This recap was very mean spirited. Hopefully next week’s recap will be a lot more positive.
I was really looking forward to reading your blog too until I read it. Obviously, you won’t care what I write, but I think you need to be aware of how mean words can hurt people. Somewhere in the gene pool of my ancestors, there is a high forehead, which was generously passsed down to me. My entire life, I have tried hairstyle after hairstyle to try and cover it up. There are very few pictures of myself because I hate it. My adult children keep telling me that I worry too much about it, and it’s not a big deal…. they tell me that I’m pretty. Now just because I read your blog, I will feel bad about myself the rest of the day and realize that people like you really do look at me and laugh. I would hope and I would suggest that maybe you come up with another nickname for the woman on Amazing Race, to make fun of someone’s physical appearance, something they can’t change, is above being mean.
Wow! I didn’t even get past the first paragraph. Not funny and not well written. California ‘wine country’ is in Northern California. Napa and Sonoma. Have you never watched the Bachelor? The Amazing Race started in Santa Barbara, California and they traveled to Santa Barbara, Argentina.
I’m guessing Reality Steve isn’t going to be too thrilled with your recap……who pooped in your Cherrios, anyway?! Time to take a good look at yourself deary……
I really liked your take on Amazing Race. It was smart, witty, and definitely in the spirit of this site. Keep up the great work, I was greatly entertained!
Looks like Kim asked kmcmahon to write a nice comment because of all the negative ones…
Terrible recap. Very poor taste. Reality Steve should look long and hard at who is writing his blogs, lest he lose some traffic. A show like The Bachelor/Bachelorette is prime for the snarky comments because the fools who come on it are not really doing it for the reason the show claims (to find love). The Amazing Race is about winning a million bucks, period. And all the contestants wanna do that. Kim’s blog should not merely be trying to poke fun at the contestants, it should be witty, and it should be entertaining. If you can’t do that, don’t write.
And for the record, imagining you opening your door to injure cyclists is borderline sociopathic.
I thought the recap was funny. My advice to the people that didn’t like the recap…don’t take everything so serious. It was intended to have humour and it did. If there were no funny jokes and making fun of things, it would be pretty boring.
I actually just got around to watching the episode on wednesday, and was looking forward to the recap. However, I agree with the majority of the commenters, are you going to root for anyone or just hate on every team? I was looking forward to hating on “Brenchel” cuz they def deserve it, but damn.
I thought this recap was hilarious. It seems to me like people who don’t like it just shouldn’t read it. Just because this writer perhaps has a different style doesn’t make it wrong. I for one love the different take. And I’m sorry but if you sign up for any reality show, you are opening yourself up to commentary – of all types. Kim, I hope you don’t get discouraged by these comments!
Wow! What an incredibly mean spirited recap! Ya know what the funny thing is….you are just as stupid as you claim some of these contestants are. First of all, it is NOT Art jumping from the plane, it is JJ. So, if you had any clue and paid attention you would see that JJs name was said about 15 times by others on the plane! Secondly, did it ever dawn on you that the name Art is short for something? And the face you actually think its funny a child thunks he should die then you are simply a poor parent! And, if all you have to write about is adding a letter F to Art to make the word FART than your college education didn’t pay off well and you’re a complete moron! I give all teams credit, and you simply have big words and hide behind your computer!!!
People are taking the recap entirely too seriously. Calm down, she was joking. The replies are probably written by people that believe the bachelor is a love story. Yikes.
Did anyone notice that EVERY jumper fell to the ground when they landed. They were tandem jumping so the people they were with were obviously experienced jumpers. They should have instructed the contestants on how to land on your feet. Either the producers told them not to give instructions or the contestants can’t follow directions. Either way, it was hilarious to watch these people FAIL at skydiving.
This is the perfect show for Brenchel. There are no social skills required; it’s all about challenges. I don’t hope that they win, but I do think that they will put up a good fight.