We’re back! Seems like there wasn’t that much time between seasons this time, which is good. The show starts us off in Wine Country, California. We’re subjected to looking at all the racers dressed up in those ultra cool bike racing outfits. Apparently, Wine Country is the favorite spot for “Cycling enthusiasts.” I know I’m generally a cynical, scrooge type person, but does anyone else feel like opening your car door when you pass these people on the road? I always imagine my car door flying open and sending these people flying off the side of the road at 100 miles per hour. A couple flips, maybe a tree crash? It just seems I always get stuck behind a gaggle of these geeks on a single lane road and there are just enough cars coming from the other direction that I am forced to do 15 miles an hour behind them for miles. Share the road? Nope. Not me.
Anyway, this season’s group doesn’t seem to disappoint. Here they are:
1. Dave & Cherie “Married clowns.” Oh wow, they really stepped it up with weird this year. I’m annoyed already. I hate people this happy. Unless these two break out in uncharacteristic domestic violence early on, I don’t see that they won’t be annoying me week after week.
2. Bopper and Mark – Black and white hicks who are “lifelong friends” from Kentucky. Wow, never heard a black guy sound this deep woods before. But his teammate is even more backwoods, it basically makes the guy sound like Colin Powell.
3. Misa and Maiya – Female golfers from San Diego. These two are apparently our seasonal “We’re so pretty, no one takes us seriously” twins. We immediately get that speech from one of them. So far, these are the two I most want to punch in the face.
4. Brendan and Rachel from Los Angeles. Well, they aren’t really FROM L.A. They were from somewhere else until they got a chance to annoy us on Big Brother for two seasons, now they are staying in L.A. to try to make it big. CBS has recycled them to the Amazing Race because the execs know that we just love to watch people we hate. Rachel and Brendan can be the most annoying people in the world. If you did not watch Big Brother, brace yourself. These two fight, make up, break up, whine, cry and bicker incessantly. But Rachel did win the top prize on Big Brother last time around and they are good competitors.
5. Joey “Fitness” and Dan, Long Island – gym rats. Is this guy seriously named “Joey Fitness” and felt the need to immediately show us his abs? They even made a “Situation” reference. Great. These two seem to be our resident “Jersey Shore, I’ve got no brains in my head but I do have a needle in my ass” duo.
6. Nary and Jamie, federal agents from California.
7. Rachel and Dave, married, from Wisconsin. He was in Iraq for a year and she has a giant forehead. Sorry, missed everything else about her.
8. Elliot and Andrew, twins from Scottsdale, AZ. One is in a band and the other is a professional soccer player we’ve never heard of.
9. Kerri and Stacy, first cousins from Mississippi. Referred to themselves as Daisy Duke. Whatever.
10. Vanessa and Ralph, dating, from San Antonio. She goes on and on about how they kept missing being able to date each other, apparently due to those pesky marriages to other people each of them was stuck in. What are the chances these two were banging each other at various points during their marriages? 100% I’d say. She looks like a supermodel and the guy’s tattooed arm looks to be as big as a frigging log. Not much else to say there yet.
11. Art and JJ, border patrol agents, Southern, CA.
I was looking forward to reading your recap. But I have to admit. I don’t find it funny at all. I think it is just mean.
Yikes. maybe you should not wish people dead. I know you’re not being serious and just trying to be funny, but its a little bit distasteful. Hopefully the next recap isn’t as brutal 😉
Hmm… I used to check your blog cuz it was funny and real. C’mon… wishing death upon someone just for saying they will skydive for their kids? Calling a pretty young girl “crater face”. Not nice. Not funny. I’ll check again next week. Hopefully you’ll have your groove back!
Wow…..that was just a mean blog…..I thought you were a little harsh last season, but this one took it to another level. Wishing someone dead is not funny, and crosses the line. And, can’t you find ANYTHING likeable about the contestents? There are some good people there, but it seems as though you only look for the negative. I hope that your recaps become a bit more light-hearted and positive, as it is supposed to be entertainment!
I totally agree with the previous four posts. This recap was very mean spirited. Hopefully next week’s recap will be a lot more positive.
I was really looking forward to reading your blog too until I read it. Obviously, you won’t care what I write, but I think you need to be aware of how mean words can hurt people. Somewhere in the gene pool of my ancestors, there is a high forehead, which was generously passsed down to me. My entire life, I have tried hairstyle after hairstyle to try and cover it up. There are very few pictures of myself because I hate it. My adult children keep telling me that I worry too much about it, and it’s not a big deal…. they tell me that I’m pretty. Now just because I read your blog, I will feel bad about myself the rest of the day and realize that people like you really do look at me and laugh. I would hope and I would suggest that maybe you come up with another nickname for the woman on Amazing Race, to make fun of someone’s physical appearance, something they can’t change, is above being mean.
Wow! I didn’t even get past the first paragraph. Not funny and not well written. California ‘wine country’ is in Northern California. Napa and Sonoma. Have you never watched the Bachelor? The Amazing Race started in Santa Barbara, California and they traveled to Santa Barbara, Argentina.
I’m guessing Reality Steve isn’t going to be too thrilled with your recap……who pooped in your Cherrios, anyway?! Time to take a good look at yourself deary……
I really liked your take on Amazing Race. It was smart, witty, and definitely in the spirit of this site. Keep up the great work, I was greatly entertained!
Looks like Kim asked kmcmahon to write a nice comment because of all the negative ones…
Terrible recap. Very poor taste. Reality Steve should look long and hard at who is writing his blogs, lest he lose some traffic. A show like The Bachelor/Bachelorette is prime for the snarky comments because the fools who come on it are not really doing it for the reason the show claims (to find love). The Amazing Race is about winning a million bucks, period. And all the contestants wanna do that. Kim’s blog should not merely be trying to poke fun at the contestants, it should be witty, and it should be entertaining. If you can’t do that, don’t write.
And for the record, imagining you opening your door to injure cyclists is borderline sociopathic.
I thought the recap was funny. My advice to the people that didn’t like the recap…don’t take everything so serious. It was intended to have humour and it did. If there were no funny jokes and making fun of things, it would be pretty boring.
I actually just got around to watching the episode on wednesday, and was looking forward to the recap. However, I agree with the majority of the commenters, are you going to root for anyone or just hate on every team? I was looking forward to hating on “Brenchel” cuz they def deserve it, but damn.
I thought this recap was hilarious. It seems to me like people who don’t like it just shouldn’t read it. Just because this writer perhaps has a different style doesn’t make it wrong. I for one love the different take. And I’m sorry but if you sign up for any reality show, you are opening yourself up to commentary – of all types. Kim, I hope you don’t get discouraged by these comments!
Wow! What an incredibly mean spirited recap! Ya know what the funny thing is….you are just as stupid as you claim some of these contestants are. First of all, it is NOT Art jumping from the plane, it is JJ. So, if you had any clue and paid attention you would see that JJs name was said about 15 times by others on the plane! Secondly, did it ever dawn on you that the name Art is short for something? And the face you actually think its funny a child thunks he should die then you are simply a poor parent! And, if all you have to write about is adding a letter F to Art to make the word FART than your college education didn’t pay off well and you’re a complete moron! I give all teams credit, and you simply have big words and hide behind your computer!!!
People are taking the recap entirely too seriously. Calm down, she was joking. The replies are probably written by people that believe the bachelor is a love story. Yikes.
Did anyone notice that EVERY jumper fell to the ground when they landed. They were tandem jumping so the people they were with were obviously experienced jumpers. They should have instructed the contestants on how to land on your feet. Either the producers told them not to give instructions or the contestants can’t follow directions. Either way, it was hilarious to watch these people FAIL at skydiving.
This is the perfect show for Brenchel. There are no social skills required; it’s all about challenges. I don’t hope that they win, but I do think that they will put up a good fight.