THE AMAZING RACE – 10/9/11

And next we proceed to the detour: a choice of a rice field or grass bed. Rice field is delivering meals to workers and planting 300 rice seedlings. Grass bed is filling two bags full of grass and picking up and transporting two sheep, and then giving them water.

Okay so now Andy and Tommy have officially warped into Beavis and Butthead. Approaching the people working in the rice fields, they are running up “hee-hee-hee, huh-huh-huh” laughing their way to them. And giving them a “Nice work guys!” I’m sure that means a lot coming from you two.

Back to the showgirls, frantic in a cab because another team just passed them. They freak out because the cabbie laughs. One of them mocks him saying something like “haha another team passed them and they are gonna lose a million dollars ha ha ha.” I’m sure that’s not exactly what he was thinking. Again, wish we could see that bubble cloud of thought which probably more resembled: “Why don’t you shut the F up and just let me drive, you slutty, stupid looking bimbos.”

Marcus is next shown using a whistle to catch a taxi—still stuck in that NFL mode, huh? I guess he may use it for any cabbie driving infraction as well. Or maybe he has a yellow flag in his pocket to throw in that scenario. Unfortunately for these two, they scored the cabbie that seems suddenly to have no idea what country he is in and why he is behind the wheel of a car. Good time to blow that whistle.

So back to the idiots Andy and Tommy, and again much like Beavis and Butthead would, they fill the two bags with grass and then proceed to run with it pretty much spilling out of the bag the whole way over to the sheep shed. They get there and get rejected because it’s like empty by now. Duh. So they are sent back for more grass. Almost could hear even the sheep thinking “Dumbasses.” So finally the grass is done and now they have to lead two sheep to water. I think between all four of them there are about four brain cells. Two each belonging to the sheep, of course.

Next we’re shown lots of teams running through the fields at once and I’m treated to one of my showgirls and one twin wiping out hard. Thought the twin looked like she took out her ankle, but I guess she was okay. Cathi’s first fall was the best because it was like a total face plant into the field. And then she does it again. Did I mention how much I love seeing falls like that? I swear, America’s Funniest Home Videos has to be one of the best shows out there because of that. It never gets old seeing people keel over on their wedding day or something. The show is hilarious if you can weed your way through the “I think my kid is cute with shaving cream all over him” and “My cat got really scared and jumped high” crap videos. Get me back to the losers crashing their bikes into trees, please. Anyway, falling must be universally funny, kind of like farts, because those Indonesians were getting a kick of Cathi falling too. And having to shove those rice shoots into mud all day for eighty years or whatever, I think they deserve an f’ing laugh or two.

Back to the brainy gallery: The showgirls felt the need to let us know it was their first time ever planting rice. Really? Actually, had you actually done it before, then you probably should point that out. Otherwise, we’re pretty smart people out here and pretty much assumed this would be your first time doing it. In fact, I think The Amazing Race kind of sets this stuff up knowing you’d never have done it before. That’s they have you racing in Indonesia, not Omaha, you dolt. But thanks for the Captain Obvious statement anyway.

And….Cathi falls again. No need to reiterate, but aren’t they the farmers? Yet she can’t stand up and walk in a field at the same time? And she falls again. She’s acting like there are a bunch of banana peels out there or something. Unreal. Though I never tire of falls, so bring it on.