Wow, did I just effing see what I think I saw? Ryan the Jujitsu Jerk has frigging compression things on his ARMS. Nothing like being a guy and looking like you’re wearing leg warmers on your arm Flashdance-style. Just goes to show you the kind of morons that Under Armour is successfully targeting. That company must be laughing it’s collective *ss off that they’ve got these idiots buying compression crap for every part of the body. Pretty soon these dumb*sses will have compression stockings on their effing heads. Probably the same effing weirdos that buy those running shoes with the frigging toes showing. Those things are horrible, I’m sorry. No one is interested in the shape of your toes, loser. Anyway, Ryan is probably wearing a tiny compression stocking on his putty too. What a complete and utter tool. At this point in the show, I am totally hoping that the riverboat hits an iceberg and sinks. Or a shark jumps onto the back of the boat, and Ryan and Abbie try to hold on but slowly slide into the shark’s jaws. You know, like the movie “Orca.” I guess that was a killer whale, but you get the point. I know all of this is impossible but I’m desperate. I want these two GONE. I’m picturing crash, sink, blood and one lone compression stockinged arm going down in the wake. Bye bye Jerk!
Back to the comforter task: Josh had kind of a “Project Runway” like determination on his face when he was sewing that piece of crap comforter. Remember, Josh this thing is headed for someone’s trailer, not a runway show. The guys comment that Josh apparently did a ton of sewing back when he was a drag queen. Couldn’t just settle for a couple of normal gay guys, eh CBS? Nope. “Aquadesiac” was apparently Josh’s drag name. He’s an ugly guy, and I really don’t think he’d improve much with pretend ovaries.
We’re in the “footrace to the pit stop segment” and Natalie and Nadiya comment about how they are racing with a psychotic couple that are in pretty good shape. Yep, they mean Ryan and Abbie. Love those twins. Then I had to laugh when Rob seemed like he was trying not to help the gay team. Rob and Kelley are in a boat and Brent asks if they have to take one of the boats too. Rob says, “I don’t know…we’re uh, yeah, we’re lost!” Ha ha, that’s the spirit. Screw over the other teams with your really good acting. As it turns out, Rob and Kelley were lost, and get turned away from the pit stop. They try to check in and Phil says “You’re team #4, HOWEVER….” That’s when you know you’re probably screwed. Rob proceeds to berate the local guy that he had bringing him around. He takes on that caveman talk that Americans often take on when talking to foreigners: “You supposed to bring HERE. You brought me WRONG PLACE.” All that’s missing is the grunting, a large club and more than three strands of that ugly yellow green hair.
Pit Stop:
Okay, so is this orange/red beard thing a style over there? The pit stop dude from Bangladesh had one just like that taxi driver. Or was it the same guy? Anyway, it was pretty ugly. He should do well in the Miss Universe pageant though. He’ll probably beat Indonesia anyway.
1. Abba and James (“We came here to win this.” As opposed to those who came to lose, apparently. It’s like hearing Shakespeare sometimes.).
2. Abbie and Ryan (Damn! No shark, no plane crashing on their heads, no riverboat sinking. Where are you, God?)
3. Natalie and Nadiya.
4. Brent and Aquadesiac
5. Rob and Kelley
6. Jaymes and James
7. Trey and Lexi
8. Gary and Will (Eliminated.) They went on and on about how they knew they were last but then almost collapsed with surprise when Phil actually told them that they were last. Really?
Moral of the story this week: Arm compression stockings, running shoes with the toes showing and Gary and Will all suck.
See you next week!
Written by: Kim Wilson
Email: kwilson1101*AT*gmail.com
Twitter: kwilson111
Great recap – thank you! Due to the stupid football game running over, I fell asleep about half way through. I can completely picture what I missed just based upon your recap – loved it!!
I also cannot stand Jitisu guy/Dance girl and the two who came in last make me laugh! They were 2nd to last almost every leg and yet they were always positive that they were going all the way – good outlook, I guess . . . but not realistic.
The twins are totally growing on me also – they crack me up.
Thanks again!!
Thanks so much! It always helps to hear that I’m not the only one when it comes to not being able to stand some of these people on Amazing Race.
Is it just me, or are the “tasks” this year really, really, really, really lame?
Pumping air into balloons, back-seat riding on scooters while “racing” bulls, organizing and/or digging through smelly fish, hauling ice, handling dead rats, eating frog ovaries. Seriously, what kind of “skill” is involved in any one of those tasks except being able to breathe through your mouth instead of your nose?
The biggest challenge any of the contestants have had to deal with is either reading the clues properly or picking a decent cab driver.
Amazing Race used to be one of the best “reality” shows on TV, but this season stinks so far. And there’s not a single pair yet that I feel like rooting for. Ug.
Still, I’ll watch the next episode; but if things remain dull and boring and lame and stupid, I’ll pass on the rest of the season.