Next, we are shown an interview with Ralph and Vanessa. Ralph says that Vanessa is not interested in any kind of physical activity and that he hopes that doesn’t hold them back. Okay. The only way I’m not going to leave my house right now and take hostages at gunpoint is if I can reassure myself that she has that body from 16 hours a day at the gym. Otherwise, I must say that there must not be a God. If that chick doesn’t work out, all is no longer right with the world for me. Next we’ll hear that she eats anything she wants and “can’t gain weight.” PLEASE – GOD – NO.
The teams start reaching a temple for the first clue, which includes a Fast Forward. Dave, Rachel, Art and JJ can’t do the Fast Forward because they’ve already each done one. Rachel and Brendan, who started this leg in second place, decide to head for the Fast Forward. Dave and Rachel are off for the Detour. Their rickshaw driver has to stop for gas and Dave says “hopefully everyone’s having difficulty with transportation on this one.” Is having to stop for gas equivalent to transportation problems? Not to me. Blown transmission, all four tires flying off? Those are transportation problems. Having to refuel doesn’t cut it for me.
Brendan and Rachel reach the Fast Forward. For the love of God, what the hell is Brendan wearing? He has the ugliest green striped shorts on ever. Anyway, as expected, the Fast Forward was a task where both racers had to shave their heads. So they sit there and sit there while Rachel whines on and on and on about not wanting to shave her head. Blah, blah blah about the expensive hair extensions and how it took her years to get her hair to be this good. (“Good” = Strawberry Shortcake colored hair that apparently requires extensions). Brendan is just non-committal about her not having to do it “if she doesn’t want to.” Then she’s back and forth with “Do you want me to do it?” type questions. What a waste of time. If I was racing with Rachel, as soon as I read that clue I’d be dropping it and sprinting back to do the other tasks. There’s NO WAY this chick was ever going to shave her head. May as well have asked her to remove her fake boobies by herself with a spoon or something. No way it was going to happen. And, because he didn’t just come out and say “don’t worry about it, let’s just get out of here,” it went on and on with the contemplation. Just get out of there already. She’s not going to do it. And he supposedly knows her so well. Whatever.
Some teams start reaching the Road Block. It consists of using coconut husks to spin forty feet of rope onto a spindle. Wow, is this seriously someone’s every day job? Ouch. Art says, “I’ll perform it.” (Weird way to say you’ll do the task if you ask me) Then, JJ says, “He’s good at that.” Really, JJ? Art’s already proven himself using the hair from the outside of coconuts to make rope? Hmm, I seriously doubt that one.
Did I just hear Vanessa say that Ralph is one of the first boyfriends she’s had who has not cross dressed? Please tell me I heard that one wrong. This chick who can’t even say “damn!” when she’s pissed off has dated a trail of transvestites? (Did you catch the “Oh, my stars!” comment?) I don’t look half as good as she does and never had that problem with boyfriends. I really wonder what it is that she’s attracting, and attracted to, that kind of guy. Ironically, cross dressing has definitely been a theme for me this week. Just watched the movie “J. Edgar.” Crappy, boring movie by the way. Not even a cross dressing DiCaprio could save that one.
Holy sh*t, the others are already at the Road Block and Mark looks to be dead in the hotel room. He’s even got an IV in. What a mess. He is apparently still suffering from heatstroke or whatever. And they still have an hour to go before they can even start racing. Wow. They must’ve really been behind the other teams during the last leg.
JJ is at the coconut task, shown for about the fifth time fuming because no one was doing the Fast Forward. He’s going on and on about no one having the balls to do it. Again, it’s the ongoing theme that the others aren’t as competitive or don’t have as much right to be there as they do. I think he was just pissed off because if one of the others had successfully done the Fast Forward, it wouldn’t really threaten them. But if Mark and Bopper do it and beat someone to the finish, there could be trouble. Everyone is just kind of counting on the fact that Mark and Bopper will be last this leg, no matter what. Can’t say I blame JJ for being nervous about that one.
I (along with Dave, apparently) really wished they’d mute the cheering sections while the rope was being worked on during this task. The “You got it, Sugar!” from Vanessa, constant “Good job, Bren—daaannnnn” from Rachel, etc. was so very annoying. I had just completed that thought when Dave turned into a total dick to his own Rachel for this same reason. Rachel decides to join the cheerleading team and says “Good job, babe.” Dave, in total dick fashion, says “Rachel, I don’t need positive reinforcement…I appreciate silence.” I totally agreed, but man, how much verbal abuse can Rachel take?
Hallelujah! I’ve been waiting for you to write about what a douchelord Dave is!!!! My husband has had to stop watching the show altogether b/c that guy is such an ASS. I feel really sorry for Rachel and, honestly, I kind of worry about her if they don’t win. He’s very cutting. Scary dude.
Dave probably isn’t a big of an ass as you think. It’s probably the military man coming out in him. That’s likely how he acts while working. Don’t read too much into it! You see how he acts once the stress is off.