Mark is on the bus suffering from motion sickness again. This trafficky, bumpy trip on the bus isn’t helping any. He blames “the smog in the UR” for his troubles. Think he meant “air” but not sure. You seriously need a separate Hick to English translation dictionary to keep up with this guy. Anyway, for some reason, Mark doesn’t just keep a barf bag handy throughout the Race. It looks like it’s going to get ugly fast and it does. Mark pukes right out the side of the bus window. Must’ve been nice for the drivers behind the bus. It’s hard enough to get a tiny bit of bird sh*t to clean off a windshield. I can only imagine how hard it is to have a pile of puke hit the windshield all at once. Pretty big chunky, smeary mess, I’d imagine. I figure you’d have to be driving with your head out of the side of the window after that one. Hope nobody’s windows were open back there.
The teams arrive at Sacred Heart College for the Road Block. Now this looks to be promising. The challenge is to learn a Bollywood dance routine that looks to be a sequence like the end of “Slumdog Millionaire.” I am loving it because I just know that someone is gonna suck at this.
Dave reads the clue to Rachel: “Who has the biggest forehead? You do.” Just kidding…was actually something about having the best moves. Sorry, last forehead reference. Brendon next reads the clue to the other Rachel. Again, she raises her hand like she’s in kindergarten and says, “I’ll do it!” Thank you, Rachel. You could’ve stopped raising your hand to answer questions about twelve years ago, after you got your Good Enough Degree. But I guess when you don’t have answers all that often, it can get pretty exciting to have one. No wonder she’s still dressing in glitter, saying OMG and reenacting “Mean Girls” with Vanessa. She still thinks she’s in high school.
Make that grade school. She just said something to the effect of “They have fun outfits with glitter and sequins!” Why does she always make observances you’d expect from a three year old or someone with a lobotomy? Yep. Because she’s a dummy with big fake boobies.
Ralph and Vanessa make it to the Bollywood set. Ralph says Vanessa will be good at the dance routine because she has some Puerto Rican in her. Uh, okay. Luckily, the bar for “good” is set pretty freaking low because JJ totally sucks at dancing. And that is putting it lightly. He is AWFUL. Mark is not far behind, though it looks like his problem is more just not being able to remember more than two steps at once. JJ’s problem is that he has zero rhythm. His dancing resembled a sick bird right before it drops dead or something. I think that type of music made him look even worse too. You know there’s a million on the line when you can get a guy to look like that on national TV. That’s the worst dancing I’ve ever seen. That’s saying something because I’ve been to enough crappy wedding receptions in those fire halls with wood paneled walls and pictures of wolves howling on them to see some pretty awful stuff. Anyway, JJ is taking forever and getting zinged pretty early on during each routine. It looks like he will probably be trying to master this dance until New Years’ or something. I’ll give the Indian people credit; you didn’t see any snickering or anything like we’ve seen in some of the other countries. I know I would’ve been having a hard time not falling over laughing.
Those Kentucky boys have really grown on me! They are two of the most positive people I have ever seen on this show. Their children should be proud of how they have presented themselves to the world!