AMAZING RACE – 3/26/12

Week Five! The Racers are apparently headed for some place called Baku, Azerbaijan. Where exactly IS this place? I guess I was about as surprised that it was in Russia as if they had said the teams were headed for the moon. I think I had an okay grasp of geography right before Russia broke off into all of these various countries. I mean, I literally had NEVER heard of this country before. Pretty sad. What was totally annoying about the teams going there was that they seemed to want to keep mentioning the country name, as if this made them seem like they knew exactly where it was. “We’re headed for Azerbaijan. Baku. A city in Azerbaijan.” We’re not fooled. You had no clue either. Of course, our Southerners weren’t putting on any airs. Mark said they were headed for “Ashabayjay” and that he thought that was in Africa. Gotta love those two.

So, what’s new, Art and JJ are off first again. Joey Fitness and Danny leave second and have a conversation about how they are one of the strongest teams left. Yeah, if you’re talking bench presses and hitting on ugly travel agents. Otherwise, last week was one of the first weeks these two finished strong. I’d have to say they may want to finish first once before they start declaring they are one of the strongest teams, but that’s just me.

Rachel from Big Brother doesn’t disappoint us again this week. She’s made yet another awful fashion choice. Inexplicably, she’s got a really thin green sequin headband right in the middle of her freaking forehead. Again, like Prefontaine. I have no idea what she’s thinking. She is so delusional in her illusion of her own celebrity that she probably thinks that after the Race airs, she’ll see 12 million people wearing those thin green headbands across their foreheads too. I’m not thinking that that’s going to happen any time soon.

Nary and Jamie decide to go off on a diatribe again about their strategy of telling everyone they are teachers instead of federal agents. Why they bother telling Brendon and Rachel anything is beyond me. They show this initial conversation between the two pairs where Rachel asks what they do for a living and they say “We’re teachers!” Just sounded fake. Like they were trying to convince themselves about their own profession. Good thing Rachel is so thick. Then Nary and Jamie talk to the camera about how everything they’ve done has been a strategy, and also mention about coming in last place last week. They seriously mention it like it’s all part of their “flying below the radar” strategy. Yeah, like that’s a strategy. Hey, who knows, maybe they are trying to come in last to throw everyone off on just how good they are. Of course, they’ll be eliminated BUT the other teams will think they suck! I think they should just tell everyone they are agents already. The others still won’t think they’re a threat. They’ll just start saying: “Wow, they are teachers federal agents, but they really suck at this!”

Anyway, I’d have liked them to ask Rachel what her and Brendon do for a living. “Well, glad you asked…We’re a**holes!” Well, I guess THEY wouldn’t say that. Rachel’s got some ridiculous job description like “Event Planner” or something listed. Just put “unemployed” and spare us. Or, better yet, “Reality TV Show Applicant.” That’s about all she’s doing these days. Besides whining, crying and dressing really badly, anyway. She’s probably filling out a “Bachelor Pad” application as we speak.