Along those lines, Dave wins a lot of points by telling his bearded guy that he looks like Santa Claus. Wow, because that is such a compliment Dave! That’s like turning to the guy and telling him he’s a really old fat ass with a white beard. Nobody wants to look like Santa, Dave. Not even the guy at the mall playing Santa. That’s why they are always so cranky. Would’ve been great if this guy punched Dave in the face and told him to get the F away from his beard.
Kentucky guys have next arrived at their Speed Bump –they have to listen to yodeling and then yodel their own tune. My guess is these two may actually be able to teach these Bavarians how to yodel, but whatever. The yodeling guy actually looked like he needed a lesson in dental hygiene as well. Haven’t seen teeth that yellow…well, since the Kentucky guys last talked. I guess everyone needs a lesson in dental hygiene in this scene.
Rachel and Brendon are shown in their cab, trying to decide between the detour tasks. Not sure what it is with the Big Brother contestants coming onto Amazing Race, but Rachel says something almost as dumb as Jordan said to Jeff a couple seasons back. (I think Jordan and Jeff had a clue about looking for Joan of Arc’s statue and Jordan seemed to think that they were trying to find NOAH’S ark). Anyway, Rachel reads the clue and Brendon asks, “You want to style a beard?” Rachel says “No…I don’t even know what a beard is.” Ah, okay. She’ll have one soon enough and then she’ll know what it is. THEN as the cherry on top of this conversation between Mr. and Mrs. Einstein, Rachel starts musing aloud about when they’ll finally get to “Bolivia.” I guess she didn’t quite comprehend that Bolivia is located on a completely different continent. Not to mention, was she even wondering about all the German being spoken as opposed to Spanish? Of course not. That beret may as well have been an aluminum foil space cone hat up there. You’re headed to Bavaria not Bolivia, you dumb ass. My guess is that Bolivia would be a little warmer as well, but that’s just me.
Joey Fitness and Danny get rejected a couple of times styling their beard, annoying everyone around them the whole time they are there. They could not have possibly made more annoying jokes during the process. Yeah, we get it guys…You like to style your hair too. The guy in charge of handing out clues finally got so sick of them, that when they asked for approval, he’s like “Eh, okay.” It was clear he just wanted them gone already. The guy’s beard looked like some bird tried to lay some eggs in there and here he sends them on their way. Can’t blame him for wanting to get rid of them though.
Anyone else think Rachel looked like she’d have trouble passing Kindergarten the way she was putting that gingerbread roof together? She had gaps all over the place. Made it look like she was using her feet to put them on there. How sad that was.
Next the racers are sent to find Sleeping Beauty’s castle. Seriously, this country is really stuck in fairy tale land, huh? I must say I’ve never seen a word so long as the name of that castle either. Must’ve had 37 letters in it.
The scene with Ralph and Vanessa walking on foot up 10,000 feet or something to the castle reminds us why he’s been married three times already. He’s a total a**h*le on their walk in the snow in the cold. Not that Vanessa was on her best behavior either, but what a jerk, seriously.
Those Pepto Bismol twins seemed confused and seemed to think they won the million for putting the gingerbread house together. Uh, the Race isn’t over yet, girls. But they do Toyota jumps all over the place and one of them even busts the other one in the teeth and mouth in the process. I was ready to see those Pepto lips with blood all over them. Calm down, ladies. Have you even finished in the top five yet?
And we’re back to the giant domestic dispute that was Vanessa and Ralph this whole episode. Vanessa told Ralph he looks like a juiced up hothead. She’s right, he does. But my guess is that that’s what she’s attracted to about him. Did she just figure this one out? Let’s face it, she’s probably helping him inject the ‘roids. I did appreciate her correcting him on the “could care less” blunder though. It was so condescending and perfectly timed during their fight. Get used to correcting this guy, Vanessa. He probably also says dumb sh*t like “Libary” and “Valentimes Day.”
“I don’t even know what a beard is” . . . still cracks me up. Mark & Bobber are starting to grow on me – seem like nice guys. Army Rachel & hubby – Amazing Race is NOT the way to reconnect in your marriage. This is going to test your marriage. The dating/married couples are all drama this year – yikes! “I don’t even know what a beard is” . . . . I never watched Big Brother – now I’m really, really glad!
Kim, I love you. You are doing a great job! Seriously, isn’t Rachel Reilly annoying enough to give you hives? Every time she turns on the tears and starts to whine I want to put my foot through the TV. Can’t imagine what Brendon sees in her – maybe she’s his charity project for the foreseeable future. I watched Big Brother both seasons Rachel and Brendon were on. They were annoying both times … and nothing has changed.