Anyway, Vanessa says she’s been married once. She thinks that she and Ralph are “more apt to vocalize what we want and need” because they have been married before and know what they do and don’t want. Sorry, Vanessa. You can try to put a positive spin on the fact that your boyfriend sucks at relationships. Not buying it. He’s not getting any better at it from the look of things either. You’re aspiring to be his divorce #4, and that’s all there is to it.
Rachel Rachel Rachel. What the hell are you wearing again this week? She seriously looks like that crazy Bjork person is her stylist. She’s wearing a bright green sequin tank top with spaghetti straps over some cheap version of a black Under Armour compression shirt (think it may be from Target—she DID just win half a million, right?)and that freaking black beret with gold studs all over it. It was St. Patrick’s Day for us this week, but this leg of the Race was probably filmed in November or something. No excuse for that getup. If she were alone on the street, I think the police would be escorting her right to a mental hospital. Probably where she belongs, so no loss there.
Oh great, Kerri and Stacy are treating us to their Pepto Bismol lipstick revival. One reveals that she is married to a professional basketball player. Yeah, I think you’d be mentioning who it was if it were Kobe or something. I’m thinking we’re not talking NBA here, but who knows. The Development League is a small step above playing pick up games at the local park, no matter what he’s telling you, honey. Unless you are married to a name we recognize, don’t bother throwing that little tidbit out there.
We’re next shown the Kentucky guys, who are last to leave, having narrowly avoided elimination last week. They get a little help because all the teams have to wait for a train into Bavaria and everyone catches up.
Anyone else catch GF’s ridiculous spelunker light in the middle of her forehead? Kind of smart, because it helps disguise the sheer size of her forehead. Unfortunately, no one in the history of the world has ever, or will ever, look cool wearing one of these things. May as well just have that enormous solar panel hanging out instead.
Did I hear the border guys say “Hey Guidos” to the Jersey guys? I get that those Jersey Shore morons may call each other “Guidos” constantly, but this is still a racial slur, guys. Hate to hear how they greet those Mexicans trying to scale the wall on the border.
The teams start reaching the Detour: They can choose between “Fairy Tale” – following a trail of gingerbread and then use it to put a roof onto a gingerbread house like Hansel and Gretel or “Champion Male” – style awful beards on ugly old guys using curlers, mousse, gel and hairspray. Wow, anyone else thinking Bavaria’s a pretty f’ed up place? Looks to be ridiculously cold AND stuck in a time warp. You want to see this kind of weird stuff, go to Disney World.
Rachel’s beret is gone, apparently replaced by a really cool Davy Crockett hat. What exactly is wrong with this chick? Actually, never mind. There’s no quick answer to that one.
We’re back to the scene with the weird beards. GF and Dave decide to do this task. Gross, wouldn’t want to touch those guys’ beards myself. They didn’t look all that clean. I’d really love to know what kind of application you’d need to put in to get this job. I guess you’d list that your hobbies include wearing lederhosen, styling your beard like a 5 year old does with her Barbie’s hair and lots of drinking. No Master’s Degrees required to get into this field.
“I don’t even know what a beard is” . . . still cracks me up. Mark & Bobber are starting to grow on me – seem like nice guys. Army Rachel & hubby – Amazing Race is NOT the way to reconnect in your marriage. This is going to test your marriage. The dating/married couples are all drama this year – yikes! “I don’t even know what a beard is” . . . . I never watched Big Brother – now I’m really, really glad!
Kim, I love you. You are doing a great job! Seriously, isn’t Rachel Reilly annoying enough to give you hives? Every time she turns on the tears and starts to whine I want to put my foot through the TV. Can’t imagine what Brendon sees in her – maybe she’s his charity project for the foreseeable future. I watched Big Brother both seasons Rachel and Brendon were on. They were annoying both times … and nothing has changed.