AMAZING RACE – 2/26/12

Big Brother Rachel and Brendon’s pot finally boils and Rachel says “Off to Buenos Air-ees.” We’re talking a city here, not horoscopes, dummy. Get it together. Must piss Brendon off, dealing with her crap accent, when he has perfect half-Mexican Spanish speaking skills himself.

Bopper and Mark are off (yeah, literally) and head to the bus station for tickets to Buenos Aires. Bopper tells the ticket agent “We need two tickets” and seriously holds up two fingers. I hope he was giving her the peace sign because otherwise there’s just no excuse. I’m sure this lady can comprehend the word “two” but good job anyway, Bopper. Good thing he didn’t need twenty-one tickets or anything, he may have gotten himself fully undressed in an attempt to demonstrate. You almost can hear him say “Ding Dang Doo” after every unintelligible sentence he utters.

Next clue is apparently taking the racers on an 18-hour bus ride to Buenos Aires. I’m thinking what was the point of taking a bus? We really need to watch these people, women AND men, with those weird “Laverne and Shirley” sleeping masks on for an entire ten minute clip? Then a window completely shatters on one bus and I figure that’s why we didn’t do the flying thing. Anyone else think this rather fishy? Makes me think these things are staged because it definitely seems a little coincidental. Anytime there is some kind of flat tire/engine trouble/broken window drama you just have to wonder if the producers are involved. Anyway, the bus stops and it seems that fairly quickly, they add duct tape and plastic sheeting on there to cover the window. For some reason though, everyone is still standing around forever after that. Not sure what that was about. It’s not like they blew an axle or all their tires or something. Get a freaking move on already. Ralph comments that “something hit the side of the windows of the bus” but noted that no one was hurt because no one had been sitting there. Funny, there just happened to be no one sitting where the window broke. Huh. Screams staged to me.

We pan to G.F. and Dave getting to Buenos Aires and Dave yells “Yeah! Yeah! Rapido!!” in their cab. I just love when these losers latch on to the one Spanish word they know. Even better when they use the only Spanish phrase they know, which is the one they stole from Speedy Gonzales (“Andale! Andale! Arriba! Arriba!”) It’s no wonder most other countries hate Americans. This ridiculous attempt at speaking other languages happens every season. It gets even better when they are yelling “Rapido!” in France or something.

Next clue leads the racers to some kind of cattle market. Uh oh, looks like basic math is involved. We may lose some people here.

Again we get a view of G.F.’s giant forehead. This thing is seriously crazy. This girl should never, ever wear a headband. It just made that thing look even larger. She should have bangs plastered to her forehead at all times. I seriously could not stop looking at her because it just had this Star Trek look to it. Kind of human, but not quite. In honor of the Oscars, they could’ve aired “War Horse” on that thing during the Race.

Next, Big Brother duo Rachel and Brendon get to the cattle task. Rachel reads the roadblock clue and actually raises her hand and yells “I’ll do it!” like she is in fifth grade or something. I’m giving her too much credit though because we soon learn that even the most basic math is beyond her. No wonder she was upset she couldn’t use a calculator. She goes on and on and on about how she won’t be good at the task because she knows nothing about cattle. I mean, what’s to know? You don’t have to freaking operate on them. We’re just talking counting and dividing numbers, dummy.