So, for starters, I just want to say “sorry.” If you feel like my column has blown recently, you are not alone. I think so too. I just feel like there’s not enough of the morons left for me to do much with. I guess these people are pretty good at this, and that’s why they are near the end. And there’s only so many of the “I can’t stand Cindy” “Andy and Tommy sound dumb” and “Marcus = constant NFL flashbacks” comments that I know you’ll be able to stand. It gets really hard to mix it up with so few groups left, and it’s not like you’re actually here to read a blow by blow of what happened on the show. You’ve got eyes and ears. You saw it for yourself. Anyway, bear with me. Only one more week of this for all of us….
We are seriously down to only four teams. I really wish that Ernie and Cindy weren’t one of them, but that’s nothing new. Hey, I guess any team still alive and kicking at this point must deserve to be here.
Andy and Tommy came in first, and get to leave first. They get a pic of some random guy and a box full of ridiculous clothes. They have to try to figure out why they are dressed up like this. We the audience are told it’s based on some Adventures of Tin Tin comic books from Belgium that sold some ridiculously impressive amount of copies. Of course, none of us have ever heard of them. Then again, the amount they sold may not even be impressive considering I’ve got no knowledge base on this subject whatsoever. I equate comic books with geeks, Dungeons and Dragons types and people who dress up and call themselves Trekkies, so that just tells you what you’re dealing with here. Every time I see a comic book store, I just assume it is just a front for selling drugs or something. I mean, are there seriously enough geeks out there to keep these places afloat in this economy?
So our snowboarders have to dress up like these comic book characters with a couple of bowler hats and goofy mustaches. By the way, I’m pretty impressed with myself because I just Googled “bowler hat” and it was actually what the hat is called. Lucky guess. Anyway, some random guy from Belgium tells the boys they look like Charlie Chaplin—which of course they did—but they apparently didn’t know who the hell that was. Pretty shocking stuff, even for these two airheads. Tommy stutters, “Charlie Chap-chap-lin?” and then they head off to Google him. Very amusing since they seriously were dressed up just like him. Tommy confirms, “Man, that dude was right!” after he sees a pic of Chaplin. They had to Google “Charlie Chaplin” to figure that one out. Nice. I kind of thought that Chaplin was one of those guys that you just knew from the look of him, kind of like Hitler. Weird mustaches tend to stick out in one’s mind. Oh well, moving along….Anyway, the boys seem to be in a bit of trouble. They are off looking for Charlie Chaplin instead of those Tin Tin characters. That Belgian guy kind of screwed them over.
Unfortunately, I happened to notice a Pizza Hut in the background in Belgium. They are seriously everywhere. Not sure if I did the Pizza Hut rant yet this season, but either way, here I go. Their pizzas are really good (awful for you, of course) but their buffet? Sucks! Don’t get me wrong, I’ll eat it and I even like the cinnamon sticks they make out of the crust. They charge $5-6 for a lunch buffet from 11-2 or something, but the catch is, they have the same food on there at 2 that they put out at 11. You have to prod them with hot pokers to get them to bring anything fresh out at all. And, god forbid you happen to show up there at 1:30 or something. You just paid $6 for one tiny piece of pizza no one else wanted that has been sitting there since last Wednesday.
Sorry, enough with the tangents. Sandy and Jeremy are next to leave and get their goofy costumes on, followed by my least favorite couple, Cindy and Ernie. Seriously, anyone else think that Cindy totally passed for a creepy little guy in that getup? I mean, Sandy just looked like a woman with a fake mustache on but Cindy looked just like a guy!
Amani and Marcus are next to leave. Marcus informs us: “We are going to the Super Bowl.” Wow, what a surprise. You guys actually thought I was just exaggerating about the NFL/football talk the first time I ripped on him, didn’t you? Not so much.
Jeremy and Sandy are the first to find the guy in the pic and get the next clue that says that they are headed to Panama. Tommy and Andy are next to show up to the guy but are still stuck on the Charlie Chaplin thing. Cindy realizes that they have the wrong duo in mind and is totally giddy that the boys are messed up. By the way, why is she always speaking French no matter what country she is in? Hey, maybe they do speak it in Belgium and I’m the idiot, but I swear I just heard her do the same thing in Germany. I also think that Little Miss Smarty-pants said “Charlie ChapMAN.” But I couldn’t really tell for sure because of that big caterpillar over her lip, which I might add, is quite an improvement. Anyway, I was glad the snowboarders caught up after Cindy seemed so pleased that they had screwed up. Anyone else wish they had everyone run this whole leg in those goofy costumes?
This looks to be one long leg….You notice it was night, day, and then night again really quickly. The racers all finally seem to make it to Panama without a problem. Then they are on these canoes headed to some village. (By the way, CBS, we don’t need commentary from eight separate racers that it is pitch black in the canoe and no one can see anything. Just hearing it from one or two of the racers would have sufficed.)
I love your recaps!!!! I have to agree with you about the snowboarders…so sad to see them leave…I absolutely thought they would be in the final 3…hate hate Cindy and can only hope and pray they do not win…I have to root for Marcus & Amani…they to me are the best out of the 3 left…just want to say thanx for doing this recap and I hope you will do it again next season.
You started out so well, then got really negative again. But, I enjoyed this column a lot more then your last few. I imagine it’s difficult when you don’t have a lot to work with (Ernie and Cindy/Jeremy and Sandy), but throw some positives in there occasionally and you’ll; do just fine!
I got great satisfaction over this comment:
4. Andy/Tommy (Eliminated). I am now really sorry they are out. These two were very classy about being eliminated. I have to think those two custom ‘Stangs waiting at home made them feel a little better about it.
I got such a kick out of these two, and last night was such a bummer. Who the heck ever thought these two WOULDN’T be in the finale??!! I can’t stand Cindy, feel slightly better about Jeremy and Sandy, and while Amani and Marcus aren’t the best or most competitive racers, they are the best human beings out of the bunch.
I’m not so excited about the finale now, as I thought the boys would go all the way. You have to admit they were so much fun to watch, and a lot of that was because they were having such a good time. How could you not enjoiy the combination of competitiveness and great attitudes!
Sorry to tell you, Kim, you’re the idiot here because French is one of the 3 official languages in Belgium. The other 2 are Dutch and German. By the way, I’m not Cindy. I’m a German with two Belgian friends. One of them is from the Flemish part (his mother tongue is Dutch, but he also speaks French), the other one is from the French part (she doesn’t speak any Dutch, but has studied a bit of German in school). Oddly enough, I talk in Spanish to both of them (we were flatmates in Spain). Sorry about the smarty-pants talk, but as a European it’s sth so obvious to me that I cannot help but comment (unless of course you were joking, then I’m the idiot who didn’t get it). I like watching the Amazing Race, esp. when they go to places I have been to. I loved the leg in Denmark because I recognized a lot of places they went. I have been to Copenhagen several times and even drove the distance from there to Northern Germany myself. When they went to Legoland, I recalled childhood memories of the numerous times I had been there with my family (I’m from right on the border to Denmark, so it’s close. Also, my granny is Danish and I spent all my childhood summer vacations in a beach house in Northern Denmark)
Actually, RS, the piece of paper that taxi driver saw was Jeremy’s little rendition of the building/tower thing on one of the dancers. He showed it to the driver and the driver said he knew what building it was. It wasn’t the producers or anything like that.
I really liked the snowboarders, Andy and Tommy. They were gracious, humorous, and good people. Not to mention very humble. I think it’s highly unfair that the taxi drivers called all the other drivers, except the snowboarders, which lead to their exit.
Amani and Marcus work hard and never give up. That is why they are in the final 3. They deserve to be there. I’m rooting for them to win.
Ernie and Cindy (mostly Cindy) are annoying. She cries and complains all the time! (Notice how Amani and Marcus build each other up and work together so well…hmm, maybe they could learn from them).
Jeremy and Sandy…what to say about them except, “who are they again?” Not my favorite.