AMAZING RACE – 11/20/11

Not sure if anyone else checked out Zac and Laurence’s exit interview. Not all that exciting; Laurence was still annoyed about getting U-turned, but that was about it. What I was really interested about were the comments people were making below the interview. Surprisingly, (to me, anyway) a lot of people seemed to be rooting for Ernie and Cindy. Is that seriously possible? I did see some negativity surrounding the snowboarders too. I must say I’ve hopped off that train. They are totally annoying and I would never want to hang out with them for more than 30 seconds, but you’ve got to respect their game. If they were to win, you couldn’t really doubt that they deserve it. Anyway, moving along to this week’s show….

Ernie and Cindy are off first. They have to get to a statute of Hans Christian Anderson. I must say he was a pretty goofy looking dude. Cindy decides to enlighten us with more of her life story and says that her parents would have loved her to marry a Chinese guy but that she knows that they see that Ernie makes her happy. Yeah, I’ll bet they are thrilled. They want her to hook up with a traditional Chinese guy and she brings home Fred of Scooby Doo fame. Good job, Cindy.

Anyway, after the racers read and memorize a quote on the statue, they have to follow a map and ride a bike to a theater. At the theater, they have to act out the quote with enough drama to satisfy a real life goofy dude dressed like Abe Lincoln. Lucky for me, a tour bus unloaded right when Cindy was trying to memorize the quote and all these tourists started taking pictures in front of the quote. Gotta love it. Can I be completely not politically correct and say it’s about time someone stepped in and annoyed the Chinese by being very touristy and taking an overabundance of pictures? It sure seems to happen the other way around.

Cindy gets to theater and delivers a pretty freaking annoying performance, though unfortunately the Lincoln guy eats it up and she moves on.

Camera pans over to Bill and Cathi who are leaving in second place. I must say I was surprised they have recovered so well in the race considering the flashback footage of that first leg of the race. Wow, they really sucked at first. They’ve certainly redeemed themselves.

Snowboarders are shown next with their usual ridiculous prattle. They are saying something like ”Are you Copenhanging in there?” or something.. All I know is that they are infuriatingly annoying, though there is some redeeming value to them. They definitely come across as nice guys. Just stay away from me though, okay? Anyway, at least they seem to have moved on from their “rock, paper, scissors” strategy.

As soon as Bill uttered the statement that Cathi should do well with the quote because she was an English teacher, I immediately thought “Famous last words.” And that’s exactly what happened. Unfortunately, she wasn’t also a navigation expert like our Magellan twins because she totally sucked with the map and directions. Could not figure out where the hell to go. Then when she finally made it to the theater, she was acting like a freaking mime. It kind of had a sign language interpreter feel to her whole performance. It took her forever to get through even one line and then she screwed it up. Apparently, she should’ve worked harder on delivering the line than working on all the freaking overdone arm gestures.

Amani and Marcus. Ah, no surprises here. Marcus tells us he doesn’t know if he could ever pick a better teammate than Amani. Amani, obviously used to bantering NFL-style says she knows she’s not Peyton Manning or anything. I’m just glad this show doesn’t include love scenes or anything. I’d really be worried to see what that whole thing would sound like with these two. Anyway, Marcus thinks it’s a good idea to distract Amani why she’s trying to remember the quote. Kind of dumb if you ask me. I would think that would hurt her chances of remembering it, but that’s just me. As it turned out, it was a problem for her. Actually, I have to say that Amani put on a pretty good performance for Abe. Not bad. She’s no Peyton Manning, but this girl can act. Was anyone else NOT surprised when Amani got back quickly and Marcus said “We just took the opening kickoff and ran it in for a touchdown…” I rest my case.

Jeremy and Sandy are next shown. He mentions that he has a 6 year old that is his world or something. I wish that one of these times—just ONCE—someone would say their spouse or kids sucked or something. It’s always the adjectives “wonderful, beautiful, handsome, etc.” and never the truth. I just wish someone would grow a set on any of these shows and say “You know, I have a husband, but he sucks. He’s a cheating, lowlife baldy and if I win the million, I’m finally going to tell him to get out.” Or even: “I have one daughter, but she’s a crack whore.” Enough of the braggy, “dynamic family” talk already people. You can’t even watch “Wheel of Fortune” without hearing how wonderful these spouses and kids are. Do I think you are full of it? Yes, I do.

Okay, rant over. We’re back to Cathi’s Round 2 of performing for good old Abe. She delivers more painfully crap arm gestures and it took her about an hour to get 20 words out but she impressed him this time. She’s on to the next spot.

Tommy next performs for Abe. Uh oh, it was pretty obvious Tommy was gonna blow at this. He’s like a robot up there and gets booted pretty quickly. Didn’t Cathi even tell him to bring the drama while she left? Here’s a guy dressed up like Abe Lincoln in a THEATER and Tommy can’t figure out that he can’t just go up there and rattle off the words like an automaton? I’m not sure what’s worse though. That or him in Round 2. Tommy looked like a complete tool delivering this lines with half-assed arm gestures. Wow, did he seriously just mime looking into a periscope? Stick to snowboarding.