Next we’re shown Cindy starting to freak out because she and Ernie apparently suck at canoeing in a little wooden shoe. She starts obsessing about someone U-turning them. Ernie should’ve hit her in the head with one of those oars. I was surprised when she decides to use that Express Pass when Bill and Cathi, Justin and Jennifer and Amani and Marcus were nowhere to be seen yet. But Cindy won’t shut up about getting U-turned and her and Ernie decide to use the Express Pass. Kind of weird logic to me because when teams U-turn someone, it is typically kicking a team that is already down–in this case, probably Amani and Marcus. Obviously, Cindy and Ernie should’ve gotten more practice sailing a wooden shoe around before the race started. Hopefully, she won’t start cutting herself or anything for making that mistake. I know how much she hates not being perfect at everything.
Along those lines, anyone else hoping that Zac would club Laurence on the back of the head and knock him off the freaking canoe? What an ass he is. I did love how upset he was–you know, because he is such a frigging self-declared naval navigation expert–with how he perceived that Zac wasn’t completely in sync with his rowing. Get over it, you jackass. This guy has been getting on my nerves more and more. I wish Zac would tell him to F himself already.
We’re back to Marcus, who decides to give us even more fricking football talk. Of course all this is given while he is apparently trying desperately to picking his nose in a cab. On and on with the “it’s not over til it’s over” BS pep talk, all the while trying to get some booger out of his nose. Is he not aware that he’s on camera? Probably not the best time to pick your nose, Marcus. I was just waiting for him to start rolling it around and flick it at the cab driver or something. Or the alternative, which I will not mention. But Marcus seemed to give up on scoring the booger. Not very sportsmanlike, huh? I thought giving up wasn’t an option? Anyway, this guy seriously can’t seem to say anything without NFL lingo and pep talky type crap interspersed in there. I’m surprised there wasn’t a running commentary about him trying to dig for gold in his nose.
We see Jennifer finally coming back on her bike. She basically comes back, gets the clue from Justin and pays the money. Took all of 10 seconds. Seemed like that was the thing to do in the first place, huh? Justin takes it pretty well but he should’ve killed her for that stupidity.
And…of course. Andy and Tommy both had to do back flips off of their canoe. I guess it was too much to hope for just one broken neck? Oh well.
We’re back to Ernie and Cindy next. They look to have blown that Express Pass because they are just running around like idiots trying to find the next place (Jamaica Shop) and Andy and Tommy catch up to them. At the Jamaica Shop, the double U-turn is presented to the racers. If U-turned, the selected team would have to perform the other leg of the detour. That would really suck because basically both detours were pretty hard this time. Ernie and Cindy don’t u-turn anyone and head for the pit stop. Andy and Tommy do the same.
We’re back to Marcus and he seems to need someone to tell him that this is a race for a million dollars. He gets really caught up in wanting to just move in with the locals. Same with the tobacco warehouse in the last show. This time, he is sitting there drumming and chanting with them instead of doing the detour. I mean, you’re almost in last place dummy and there’s a u-turn possibly up ahead…so complete the task already, okay?
We’re next shown Cindy and Ernie trying to hoof it to the pit stop on foot. Is it me or is Ernie one of those people that just look super dorky in shorts? Of course, he’s selected to wear the goofiest shorts ever with like docksiders and no socks. Is it 1988? He is one super dork, for sure.
Strangest move perhaps in Amazing Race history: Laurence and Zak see Amani and Marcus coming OUT of the Jamaica Shop area where the U-turn was located. They both pause in recognition that Amani and Marcus had beaten them there. But then they decide to U-turn someone. After debating who to u-turn, they name Amani and Marcus. Uh, what? They beat you there dummies, you can’t U-turn them! For a minute, I was thinking maybe they could do that and I’M the idiot, but we next see Amani and Marcus checking in successfully at the pitstop and it’s clear it was just a stupid move. I mean, did Zac and Laurence think they were seeing ghosts or something? How exactly did they think they could u-turn them, especially when they just received the same clue that leads them directly to the pitstop NOT back to the detour? The good part is that I’m expecting Amani and Marcus to figure out that Zac and Laurence tried to U-turn them. You know one of the other teams is going to mention seeing them U-turned. I can’t wait to see those fireworks, especially since it did Zac and Laurence exactly ZERO good to do it.
Must say I loved the snowboarders trying to run Cindy and Ernie over on the way to the pitstop mat. I really appreciated it. I only wish they had actually run them down and buried them in the sand. Close to the pitstop, when Andy and Tommy are passing them, Cindy starts whining, “Please boys, let us win!” I loved it. Andy and Tommy broke into a full run when she started begging. Then we have to suffer over Cindy writhing around on the ground in the sand in the agony of defeat for what feels like a full minute. Wah. She’s so annoying.
Pit stop order:
1. Andy/Tommy
2. Ernie/Cindy – she looked so pissed off when Phil told her she was team #2 and especially when she heard that Andy and Tommy won $15,000. Andy and Tommy say they felt bad for passing them, but that it’s a race and that they are not going to just give it away. They note that Ernie and Cindy wouldn’t have given it to them either. I fully agree with that and really have a new appreciation for these two. They are nice guys but when it comes down to it, there are there to win.
3. Cathi/Bill
4. Marcus/Amani
5. Zac/Laurence
6. Jeremy/Sandy
7. Jennifer/Justin (Eliminated)
Previews – Teams moving on to Denmark. We see big rabbits doing some kind of Olympic hurdling event; some suggestion that Ernie and Cindy are going to screw another team over. I wonder if it’s the snowboarders since Cindy seemed to take special offense at their running her over to the pitstop.
See you next week!
Written by:
Kim Wilson
Email: kwilson1101@gmail.com
Twitter: @kwilson111 (haven’t logged on there yet guys…sorry…I suck).
Another funny recap Kim! I wanted to leave the first comment and tell you I loved it. I had to get that in before all of your readers, who do not like your recaps, slam you again for your negativity. There are other recaps out there if you don’t like the tone of this one. It is really that simple. We are several legs into the season and your style is the same each week, yet they keep coming back. Boggles the mind. Looking forward to next week!
I love your recaps too, Kim! Honestly, this season is full of idiots anyway, how can you NOT be negative? But that is what is so great about your recaps. I find myself watching the show and wondering what Kim will say about it! Keep em coming!
I thought Cindy’s writhing on the ground episode was really strange too, but I read that she has asthma and now I realize that’s probably why. Haha.
I really enjoy your recaps, negative or not. I’ve liked all of them so far and you’re a very funny writer. Keep it up. 🙂
Am I the only one who caught Sandy’s comment about not having kids? After she and Lawrence returned from their great bicycle escapade, she was complaining to Jeremy about how awful it was…I think because noone spoke English…and I SWEAR she said something like “this is why I don’t want to have children”. Um…excuse me…doesn’t Jeremy have a son? Or did I dream that, too? And while we’re on the subject of these two, when she whines at him to stop “yelling” at her…he’s not actually yelling!!!
I love Marcus and Amani, but he definitely needs to cut it with the NFL references. Ernie and Cindy can’t be gone fast enough as far as I’m concerned. And I gotta say…I love those snowboarders. They were on my last nerve in the beginning, but they’ve “totally” grown on me dude. 😉 They’re just having fun and they’re running a clean race. I’d like to see them in the finals along with Marcus and Amani. I guess I’ll cheer for Lawrence and Zac to be the other team in the finals. But only because I like Zac. His dad is a prick.
Love your recap, Kim!