The camera cuts over to Laurence riding on his bike and commenting that finding the address he needs to get to is like finding a hair on an elephant’s butt. Thanks for that, Laurence. Wasn’t funny at all. But glad that you obviously thought we’d all be rolling out of our chairs at the reference. Not quite.
Oh man, Cathi and THAT VOICE. Is it just me? Sometimes I just can’t even take it. She says something like “ExcUUUUse me sir, can you tell me where thAAAAT is?” Ugh. Please shut up. I’d probably be rooting for you guys if you were able to race without ever opening your mouth.
This part was kind of interesting: Cindy said that English is the first language of Malawi (I’m sure she learned that in her extensive pre-Amazing Race studies). But I must agree with her that none of these Malawians (is that the word?) seems to have a freaking clue of even basic English. Not that I care or think that these people should be able to speak English. All of you who are getting ready with an anti-American rant, please don’t jump on my ass just yet. I don’t think anyone anywhere else should have to speak or understand English anymore than I should have to speak or understand Spanish here. But if it’s true that English is the OFFICIAL language there, you can kind of expect a little recognition, right?
Anyway, love how Cindy gets paid after dropping her passenger off and quickly tucks the money into her bra. Now, this may be an expected move for our showgirls, but kind of seemed strange to me coming from Miss Harvard University. Just don’t see her as the type who danced at night to put herself through college, but hey, who knows.
So next, some pin on Andy’s bike fell out, the pedals broke and the bike basically fell apart before our very eyes. I know you all thought I somehow got behind the scenes and made that one happen, but alas, I did not. Anyway, Andy seemed kind of screwed for a second there but it obviously was just meant as a cliffhanger before a commercial break. I was very proud of myself for refusing to get my hopes up on this one. I knew that somehow this thing would get fixed quickly and that these two would still end up in first place again. Seems to be the way things have been going. Honestly, while I doubt I could be in a room with these snowboarders for a full two minutes at a time, they don’t really bother me that much anymore. I’m now gunning for Cindy and Ernie to get eliminated at this point. I’m kind of okay with ANYONE else but them winning this thing. If it’s Andy and Tommy, I’ve got to give it to them. They’ve done amazing so far and far exceeded any credit I gave them in the beginning. Of course, they quickly said “Dude” again and got me annoyed. But anyway….
Camera takes us back to Amani and Marcus again and I am in complete shock that these two are STILL laboring over that dumb puzzle. It is three HUGE COLORED STRIPES with a PATTERN in the middle. Like 9 tiles to move around. It’s like a freaking paint by number! This is the kind of thing on the table at Cracker Barrel that you can complete in 2 minutes while waiting for your pancakes. I can’t believe these two are seriously this dumb. Good thing they didn’t have to play Tic Tac Toe or anything. These two would’ve been there for three days.
Next, we are shown the Detour. The teams can choose “Dugout” or “Lugout.” Dugout is a canoe race to a drummer on a boat and then back to the shore. Unfortunately the boat looks like you are trying to sail on a long wooden Dutch shoe. It was a good thing there were no fat racers, either. The opening on that thing appeared to be about 12 inches wide. You have a little muffin top, you may never get back out of that thing. Anyway, this boat seemed to cause almost all the racers trouble, including our Superhero-expert-navigation twins. And this one shouldn’t have been that big of a challenge for them, should it have been?
Another funny recap Kim! I wanted to leave the first comment and tell you I loved it. I had to get that in before all of your readers, who do not like your recaps, slam you again for your negativity. There are other recaps out there if you don’t like the tone of this one. It is really that simple. We are several legs into the season and your style is the same each week, yet they keep coming back. Boggles the mind. Looking forward to next week!
I love your recaps too, Kim! Honestly, this season is full of idiots anyway, how can you NOT be negative? But that is what is so great about your recaps. I find myself watching the show and wondering what Kim will say about it! Keep em coming!
I thought Cindy’s writhing on the ground episode was really strange too, but I read that she has asthma and now I realize that’s probably why. Haha.
I really enjoy your recaps, negative or not. I’ve liked all of them so far and you’re a very funny writer. Keep it up. 🙂
Am I the only one who caught Sandy’s comment about not having kids? After she and Lawrence returned from their great bicycle escapade, she was complaining to Jeremy about how awful it was…I think because noone spoke English…and I SWEAR she said something like “this is why I don’t want to have children”. Um…excuse me…doesn’t Jeremy have a son? Or did I dream that, too? And while we’re on the subject of these two, when she whines at him to stop “yelling” at her…he’s not actually yelling!!!
I love Marcus and Amani, but he definitely needs to cut it with the NFL references. Ernie and Cindy can’t be gone fast enough as far as I’m concerned. And I gotta say…I love those snowboarders. They were on my last nerve in the beginning, but they’ve “totally” grown on me dude. 😉 They’re just having fun and they’re running a clean race. I’d like to see them in the finals along with Marcus and Amani. I guess I’ll cheer for Lawrence and Zac to be the other team in the finals. But only because I like Zac. His dad is a prick.
Love your recap, Kim!