We’re back for the fifth leg of the race. My favorite snowboarders are first to leave AGAIN. Yay.
The clue indicates that the racers have to travel by local transportation, which apparently means they have to ride on elephants up a river to find the clue. Andy enlightens us with the whole “God opened up the door and we’re grateful to be here.” I must therefore just take a moment to say “Thanks a lot God.”
Anyway, after some ridiculous “Look! No hands Mom!” scenes on the elephant, Tommy decides to enlighten those who are blind by announcing: “We’re on an elephant right now.” Really? Are you talking to the one year olds out there–the only living humans that can’t comprehend what kind of animal an elephant is? Then Andy in typical fashion declares that if he wins the Amazing Race he’s going to buy an elephant. Why can’t they edit out more of this ridiculous prattle? I can only think that CBS wants these people to annoy us. I guess that’s part of the show. We will want some to lose just because they are so annoying and keep watching the show to see if they lose.
Anyway, at that moment, I’m rooting for that elephant to pull a Siegfried and Roy moment so the segment turns into “Death by Elephant.” Would’ve tied right in with that whole “I Feel Like I’m in the Circus!” title. Being trampled to death certainly would qualify. I’m picturing loud trumpeting, elephant rising up onto its back legs, two morons fall off back, elephant stomps them repeatedly and then takes an enormous dump on whatever’s left of them after that. Bad mood this week. Sorry guys.
Moving along to my least favorite racers now (I can handle airheads, both male and female, but I can’t stand pretentious people). Ernie rattles on about how he was not pushed as much as Cindy was as a child, apparently evidenced by the fact that he grew up as a B student. Um, B is not bad is it? Just tells us though that Cindy was one of those really freaking annoying students that had like fifteen pluses after her A’s, blew the curve for everyone else and graduated with like a 5.0 GPA because of all of the extra credit. The fact this chick can’t stand to lose just makes it almost unbearable waiting for her to get eliminated. I can’t wait to see her failure face. Especially when the Dumb and Dumber snowboarders come out ahead of her. So Ernie bores us with talk like “Why would someone like Cindy want to be with me?” Well, for starters you’re both below average in the looks department, though you’re both at the top of your class when it comes to being annoying and pretentiousness. To me, you’re a perfect match.
We next hit the Roadblock: teams basically have to follow music to a waterfall and search some really disgusting looking pool for the next clue. Unless there’s a great white hiding in there somewhere, this one will apparently be a total yawn fest.
Andy and Tommy still seem to think rock/paper/scissors is a good strategy. Though I’ll give Andy credit, he found that clue in the water pretty easily. This challenge wasn’t all that impressive beyond the disgusting looking water. I’m starting to think they are making this race all about who gets the better/faster transportation.
Justin hits the roadblock but seemed to want to do the challenge without getting wet. It was like he had a full face of makeup on or something. Lucky for him, this was an easy challenge and he could reach down and found the clue fairly easily without having to go under.
Sandy is next to join the snowboarding twins with some more commentary for the blind. “I’m riding an elephant.” Ah, is that what you’re doing? Thanks for that explanation.
Bill and Cathi next arrive at the elephant location. They are shown getting out of the trolley thing and then the camera pans to a huge pile of elephant sh*t in the road. Is someone sending us a subliminal message or something?
Andy and Tommy arrive at the next challenge which is to disassemble what looks like a Buddhist birdhouse (“spirit house”), move it somewhere else by trolley and then put it back together. No offense but did they just edit out all the God talk from Andy and Tommy before this episode? I’m familiar with people that like to pretty much mention God and Jesus every other line and these two are apparently part of that club. We hear a bunch of talk about how God is helping them. With the birdhouse? Call me crazy but there are some more important things going on in the world right now, right? I don’t think God gives a half a crap about helping these two airheads put a dollhouse back together for a reality TV show. I guess God couldn’t take anymore of Tommy either and bailed because Tommy was really sucky at it and had to go back to look at the house again. I was getting my hopes up, but they were all alone in first and Tommy was able to put it back together without a problem before anyone else even showed up. These two are cruising along again, dammit.
I’ll give Amani and Marcus some credit. They were the only two to figure out to take a picture of the spirit house with a cell phone. Honestly, I didn’t think these people were allowed to have cell phones on them, but obviously they are. No one figured to use this strategy before? Pretty smart of them because there were a lot of people struggling on this challenge.
Speaking of people sucking at the challenge, Laurence really blew the pooch on this one. Zac tells him they should take time to take notes on the configuration of the crap arranged on the house before leaving. Laurence seriously says “No, DON’T take any notes.” Yeah, I mean there is only 12,000 little crap figurines all over this thing looking like a shelf at Goodwill. But Laurence’s big advice is apparently not to remember anything. Zac repeats to him on the way over that they should’ve taken notes. Laurence reassures him it will be fine. What an idiot. As expected, Zac is totally screwed over and has to go back to look again. Laurence, in typical A-hole fashion, says a bunch of stuff to the effect of “Don’t blame me!” and “We’re wasting time!” Did he not get that this was TOTALLY his fault? I guess not because then the douche surmises that he would’ve been able to “knock this one right out” and then backs the bus back over Zac again with “This is obviously not his forte, pretty frustrating.” What an ass. Zac must be a nice guy because I would’ve told dear dad that this was all his fault and to shut up with the comments. But Zac goes back and looks once more at the house and then gets it perfect almost right away. More proof that Laurence totally screwed that one up.
Great recap, as usual.
I noticed that Jeremy and Sandy had just a little more air time than ever before this week. There was a very brief focus on them for a few minutes near the end of the episode. We still know almost nothing about them and their personalities and racing skills. I can’t recall going this far into a season and still seeing a couple who has been focused on so little (besides the eliminated ones, that is).
Good recap, though everything is so negative. I agree with a lot of what was said, but didn’t see any positive statements about teams, individuals or anything! Everything has a glass half empty perspective. While the recap is good, I’d love to read something positive about the people and/or show itself! I love Reality Steve, the tone to the recaps and everything else, but don’t you like anything?
they used the taxi driver’s cell phone to take the picture of the spirit house!
while I enjoy reading the recaps, the constant negative attitude is just too much! it’s fine to make fun of the people who annoy you, but you come off sounding like a bitter old lady.
I am glad some other people are also speaking up about the negativity! I mentioned it a few weeks ago. Dont watch the show if you are going to be so negative about every little detail.
Yes, they did use the cab drivers cell phone. And the speed bump was for the twins only because they were not eliminated last week… they always throw in a speed bump for people who got in from a non-elimination leg, and Phil warned them too.
What’s negativity to some is a hilarious sense of humor and sarcasm to others. To each his own. If I wanted to read a “regular” recap, I’d go to CBS. This site cracks me up — great recaps.
refinnej — the irony is that telling someone they sound like a bitter old lady, is, well, pretty darn negative. even sarcastic people have feelings.
yeah what’s the deal with such a negative recap? i’m fine with sarcasm, but this goes way beyond sarcasm into bitterness. reality steve and the other dude who does the survivor recaps are sarcastic, but they aren’t to the point of being rude.
amani and marcus weren’t the ones that took the pic on the cell phone, it was jennifer and justin. get it straight.
There’s a big difference between negativity and sarcastic humor. The word “bitter” is very appropriate. Show some positive enthusiasm. If you’re recapping a show you don’t like, don’t do it. It takes away from the pleasure of reading the usually great recaps on Reality Steve’s site. Reality Steve has found that balance and I believe you need to too. Just some constructive feedback! Right now, I get the impression you don’t like anyone or anything regarding TAR.
This recap is hysterical. It is done for the Reality Steve website so it is supposed to be “slanted, sophomoric and skewed”. I laughed through the whole thing. If you don’t get the point of this site read the boring recap on the AR website. Jeez. Lighten up people!
There is a big difference between Reality Steve’s “slanted, sophomoric and skewed” recaps and the negativity surrounding the recent TAR ones. Obviously it has been noticed by other people. We all have the right to voice an opinion. When the same thing has been noticed by mulitiple people, there is a valid point being made. Try to respect others opinions and feelings. If you would compare Steve’s recaps to this person, you would notice a big difference. Steve intersperses some positive statements in his recaps. He likes certain situations and people. This person had nothing positive to say. This season of TAR has some of the best teams ever, and to make fun of each and every individual is ridiculous. No one wants to read a steady stream of negativity.