THE AMAZING RACE – 10/2/11

Written by:
Kim Wilson
Email: kwilson1101@gmail.com

And we’re back for Episode #2 “The Sprint of Our Life (Indonesia).” Just a follow up to last week, in case you were wondering, Bill and Cathi checked in almost FIVE HOURS after the team ahead of them. So that wasn’t just editing at work trying to make them look ridiculously slow—they really were. Guess we’ll see how well they bounce back this week, especially with it being double elimination week and having to perform an extra task. And also with having to start this next leg five hours after the last team this week too. Good luck to these two. They better start hoping for those hay baling challenges. May as well eat out a few times during this leg and take some pictures because they really don’t seem to have a chance. Then again, it seems likely they’ll have to build in one of those flights that all the teams have to wait 12 hours to catch, in order to put Bill and Cathi back in the mix.

As a preliminary thought, I was reading some of the Amazing Race chat forums out there and some people were seriously enraged that this will be a double elimination episode. Uh, just can’t get on board with that much energy over something like this for a couple of reasons – (1) No one was eliminated in the first episode, so this just kind of makes up for that; and (2) What are the chances that Bill and Cathi DON’T get the boot as one of the double elimination couples this week? Obviously, they should’ve been eliminated last week anyway, so who cares if they go along with another couple? Seriously, people need to calm down over stupid stuff and grow some freaking perspective. Kids are dying of cancer out there people. Certainly there are better reasons to get fired up than over two couples being eliminated from Amazing Race in one week. Of course, this wisdom is coming from someone who totally freaked out a couple months ago because my trash bill went up $6.00. Hey, I had just switched over to the company after being promised a lower rate and then they bump me up to where my former trash company had me. The first thought I had was to do a Tony Soprano and dump a ton of trash over at their building. Though then I figured out that they already had a lot of trash and probably wouldn’t get the message….Anyway, moving along to the show….

So our first place team, Ernie and Cindy, depart first at 9:28pm. (I noted this especially because I wanted to see just how bad Bill and Cindy were last week). They are headed for Yogyakarta, Indonesia. We get our first shot this week of racers adopting what they think is an Asian accent while they just speak English anyway. “Airport” they say in some messed-up accent. Uh, either the taxi driver knows the English word airport or not, your ridiculously crappy “Asian” intonation won’t help if they don’t.

Pan over to Ethan and Jenna, harping on the “we’re such a threat” talk again. Ethan talks of how the other racers have seen them make mistakes too so they may focus less on the fact they won a million dollars each on Survivor. Eh, okay. Don’t think so. You’re going to be a threat and no one is going to forget that you know how to win on reality TV in challenges. But don’t worry Ethan, once you get yourself eliminated, they’ll think you’re less of a threat.

And now we move on to the conversation that perhaps sums up my favorite idiot snowboarders. Clearly, there’s no minimum IQ requirement to get onto the Olympic team: My favorite idiot snowboarders’ compelling conversation upon receiving their first clue:

Andy: “Indonesia!”
Tommy: “Indo baby! Dude, Indo.”
Andy: “It’s kinda the ultimate place for a snowboarder to go.”
Tommy: “Going to catch some waves dude.”
Andy: “Don’t dude me, dude.”
Tommy: “Dude.”

Where do I get started? First, I must have no clue about geography, because I wouldn’t think Indonesia is the ultimate in snowboarding. I won’t go there because I am probably wrong and there’s probably mountains there. I guess I’ve just never heard anyone say that Indonesia is the place to go to for anything. But is it me or do these guys seem to think they are surfers? Maybe I just don’t know the lingo, but catching waves usually refers to ocean in my world. I will just reiterate that these two seriously need to remake a Bill & Ted’s movie because no acting lessons would be required. I figure one of these weeks we may even hear these two utter “Dude, where’s my car???” Another movie they could remake easily. I mean, is this country just getting dumber and dumber? I’m pretty sure the original forefathers never had similar conversations. This is seriously scary. And still there are teams finishing BEHIND these two?

I guess I have to move on, though it’s pretty hard to do it. Next we see Ernie and Cindy hit the airport. And, as expected, the first flight out is not until 8:45am. No doubt a leveling device for Bill and Cathi so that they stand some kind of chance. Though seriously, even with the rest of the teams waiting eleven hours for the flight, I wouldn’t be surprised if these two weren’t able to find the airport before the plane took off.

We pan back to Ron and Bill discussing their relationship and their love for each other. No offense guys, but your relationship’s ups and downs and declarations of your endearing love for each other is no less boring coming from you than hearing it from a heterosexual couple. We’re truly this we’re truly that, we’re truly in love: SORRY- BUT – I – DON’T – CARE. And I doubt anyone else does either.

Moving over to Kaylani and Lisa in a cab and one hits the other in the face with the map. Cab driver laughs. I’m with ya buddy. Favorite part of my night so far. Now if you could somehow find a way to eject them both out of the roof while traveling at a high speed, I will no longer need to watch because I will have gotten all I needed from this show tonight. Please make that happen.

Well getting to hear the twins read the clue was worth a laugh – one (who cares which) pronounced it “DOOble” elimination. Surprisingly, the other was able to correct her. I gave her a few extra points for that. But we now at least understand why the idiot snowboarders are ahead of these two. Listening to these blondes banter is about as interesting as hearing about Ron and Bill cuddling.