THE AMAZING RACE – 9/25/11

So after everyone’s apparently on the same flight, we’re now in Taipei, Taiwan. Pan over to a bus ride with Marcus strategy talking…He was so obviously trying to feel out if anyone recognizes him, another former “star” hoping for some recognition…nope, they don’t know you Marcus. Loved the “I do a little protecting…tee hee” response to a question about what he does for a living. And then Marcus secretly tells the camera he protected Peyton Manning and doesn’t want his NFL past to lead the others to think he’s a threat. Wow that’s some clever double talk. Whatever. Never heard of you and clearly neither has anyone else. Not to worry Marcus. These girls assume you are a bouncer at some crap bar. Your secret is safe.

Next, Bill and Cathi are shown getting on the “Last Bus” as I’m sure will happen every time until they are ultimately eliminated. I don’t want to pre-judge but they just don’t seem all that swift to me. They definitely are in no rush.

So did everyone notice the classy garbage guy in Taiwan? No shirt, semi beer belly, sweaty and stinky looking. Yet our Olympic Einsteins ask him if he has the clue. I guess they were kidding but you never know with these Bill and Ted types. Anyway, these Taiwanese (is that the word?) trash guys actually look worse than our American counterparts. FINALLY we beat those Asians at something. Sure our schools suck compared to theirs but hey, our trash guys wear shirts! There’s gotta be some kind of worldwide ranking for that, right?

Next we see our favorite blonde twins staring at the HUGE screen with the red and yellow balloons on it. One of these twins asks if the screen could be the clue and her clearly genius counterpart responds “Nah, it would be more obvious than that.” Really? A giant screen, right where you were told to be, that you have to look up to see, that completely fits the clue to a T. And of course, as expected, our pretty brunette showgirl brainiacs are following these two blondes around like lost puppies. Awesome, four really smart ladies teamed up. So this should amount to a footrace for last place. You’d think so except we still have our resident farmer old timers Bill and Cathi moving in slow motion. WHAT exactly are they doing here? Did anyone tell them they are on Amazing Race? Our next shot of them is as the only idiots at the top of a high rise for absolutely no reason. Because the clue said to look up they go to the top of a skyscraper? Wow, these two may not make it through the night.

We are now shown Ethan, Jenna and the Olympic duds looking up at the balloons on the screen clue together. Then a local translates that it says “Confucius Temple” in front of all of them. Ethan and Jenna take off to find the temple yet the duds are still standing around looking for the real clue. Tommy’s smart idea of the night: “I’ve never seen balloons, it’s always been red and yellow stripes.” Wow. All those brains and phrases like “pretty gnarly” all night too? This will be a long season if they make it that far. Did you also notice the very impressive rock, paper, scissors strategy they are employing to figure out who will do what?

Annnnndddd…we’re back to Bill and Cathi who I think may still be in America, maybe looking for “the LA airport?” They are STILL just wandering around like tourists. Haven’t even found the first clue yet.